aging
But this is the great thing about holidays: They’re temporal gateways, urging us collectively to enact virtual rituals. Today is not just any random day. It’s a shift, proclaimed around the world. And into that gaping chasm between old year and new, that crevasse over which we now walk a short bright temporary bridge, we can hurl those warped lenses and fun house mirrors, all of us. Down that gap we can yell our last harsh words about ourselves, and hear their echoes dissolve into gibberish then ebb into that vast, inviting silence as we hasten, set free, to that smiling, untried other side.”You cannot control how others receive your energy
Perhaps I will always remember this holiday as the one where I finally accepted the truth about other peoples’ reaction to me. Ah, if I could have totally accepted this truth decades ago, my life would have been so much easier:
You cannot control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at that moment, which is NOT ABOUT YOU.
Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.
This includes everything I write about here and in my books. Just because I have chosen to learn enough to understand the psychology of midlife transition or passive solar technology, and appreciate the freedom this knowledge has given to me, does not mean anyone else has a clue what I’m talking about.
Even my parents, who taught me much of what I learned as a child, the ones I thought knew EVERYTHING when I was young, have no idea where I’m coming from with most of my ideas and thoughts today. They are living in their own reality and often do not appreciate mine, but that is not about me.
On some level I’m ashamed that it has taken me this long on this beautiful blue planet to appreciate this truth. But on the other hand, it is so freeing to let each of us be where we are right now.
We continue to search for whatever makes our lives feel better.
As another Christmas comes and goes…
Rasta, the MOST attractive being at our family Christmas!
Why oh why does Christmas go from exciting and FUN as a child, to challenging? Probably because I’m not as good at being around “family” as I used to be. But seriously, after spending almost no time together in the past 50 years, why should we get along well? I don’t know about you (obviously) but this holiday celebration completely wore me out.
The only truly notable adventure we had was driving south on I-25 yesterday evening south of Pueblo. The wind was blowing pretty crazy off the Rockies to the west. We both saw the wires on the power poles blowing sideways. At that point I said, I wonder if those poles ever break in half.
In only a few more miles we were stopped by an accident ahead for a few minutes. As we came up to the accident we saw one semi truck lying on its side beside the highway. It turned out that a pick-up towing an old RV had blown over onto the highway.
As we approached that accident, we saw old wooden power poles on our right, broken off halfway and blowing in the wind. It was AMAZINGLY windy! A bunch of cars ahead of us got off at the Walsenburg exit after seeing that!
We were just so pleased to get home in time to watch the Broncos lose, and celebrate the passing of another family “holiday”in our own way, with champagne of course.
Are you moving towards your life goals?
When was the last time you put some serious energy into contemplating your life goals? Not what needs to happen in the next year or two, but what needs to happen for you to feel satisfied in the long run.
After I lost my job and 25 year career back in 2004, I spent months contemplating my life up until then. After decades of work as an academic librarian, I was suddenly set free to consider every option. This was a wonderful gift, well disguised as misfortune.
My first book Midlife Magic: Becoming The Person You Are Inside is a summary of the feelings I went through at that time. Here I share my own story of transformation from divorced, unemployed and miserable, to my best life ever, explaining how midlife change, changes everything.
Yesterday I went through a list I made back then, a list of my new priorities after I stopped and considered my life at age 49. Here are a few things I wanted more of before I died: love, acceptance, appreciation, access to pure silence, to be surrounded with solar warmth, natural beauty, music, wildflowers, peace, contentment, relief from guilt and shame, and respect for my own integrity.
Such a wonderful feeling to know that I have somehow brought so many of these blessings into my life through my own stubbornness and courage. The way I describe this transition now, on the “About The Author” page of my new book:
“Her midlife crisis began with a divorce and then progressed to the loss of her library career, misfortunes she now finds supremely fortuitous, as everything wonderful in her present life flowed from these difficult experiences.”
Hey! It’s Small Business Saturday and you cannot find a smaller one than mine! Please consider my new memoir as 
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 