ALL KINDS of BOOMER LOVE for YOU!

clearer when in loveIsn’t Valentine’s Day crazy? Talk about a great gimmick to sell crap. I so dislike the way capitalism turns everything and everyone into a commodity to be manipulated, but this isn’t about that at all! This is about what a great idea it was to create a holiday totally based on LOVE. I think we should celebrate love every single day. After all, without love, where would we be?

So let’s start out with a post about LOVE from Carol Cassara: Love gives our lives meaning, whether we have a mate or not. That’s why I like to think of Valentine’s Day as covering love of all kinds, including maternal, filial, love we have for friends–the whole gamut.”

Sue from Australia says: At Valentine’s Day our thoughts turn to love and especially the love of a partner. But Sue Loncaric from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond wants to talk about a more important kind of love – Self-Love: The ability to appreciate who we are and love that person fiercely. Go see why we need to love and value yourself first, before expecting others to feel that way about you.

Happy V Day

After being divorced for several years, Jennifer, over at Unfold and Begin, knew it was time to wade back into the dating pool. She decided that online dating was the way to go. Here she shares her experience and guidance: Yes, It’s possible To Meet The Love Of Your Life Online.

For many, Valentine’s Day conjures up images of flowers, chocolate, hearts and often young love. But Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting instead chooses to peek into the lives of a married couple who have spent years of Valentine’s Days together the “Old Folks Way,” an oldie but goodie posted Valentine’s Day 2012.

Rebecca Olkowski of BabyBoomster.com says: Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day especially if you aren’t in a relationship. But, there is a solution. Rebecca suggests planning a Galentine’s Day with your girlfriends. Friends who are always there to support you.

old Charleston graveTom isn’t so sure he can fit his writings into our LOVE theme this week. He just knows he loves to visit Charleston in the winter. Tom Sightings, like many retirees, typically turns February into an extended snowbird trip to a warmer climate. This week in Sightings of Charleston he posts pictures of the historical city and asks for your feedback on a photo project he’s doing for his learning-in-retirement class.

And finally, Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, wants to teach you a bit about Valentine’s Day economics, or what she calls “the cost of love.” U.S. consumers are expected to spend an average $143.56 on Valentine’s Day an increase from last year’s $136.57. Total spending is expected to reach $19.6 billion, up from $18.2 billion last year. The numbers are the second-highest in 15 years, topped only by the record $146.84 and $19.7 billion in 2016.

LOVE in LaLaLand

I just want to remind you all what real, mature, durable, sustainable boomer love is all about! I’m living it everyday and so I can assure you: All You Need is Love!

 

 

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Love: The Only Why

So here we are facing Valentine’s Day again, a Hallmark holiday whose origins, much like Halloween, are rooted in pagan partying. This lovers’ holiday traces its roots to raucous annual Roman festivals where men stripped naked, grabbed goat or dog skin whips, and spanked young maidens in hopes of increasing their fertility, so says classics professor Noel Lenski at University of Colorado, Boulder. What do pagan parties have to do with love? Nothing.

After being abused in most of my early relationships and spending most of my adult life without any idea what love feels like, I spent some serious time after my divorce around age 49, studying love and how I had missed out on it so completely.

How had I lost my ability to trust anyone else? Did I want to spend the rest of my life that way? Time was up for me.

It was time to decide, would I ever believe in love again?

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I was quite lucky. After decades of struggle, study, and contemplation I finally met someone who was worthy of my love. Of course I didn’t know that at first. In my case I felt certain of his love whenever I was around him, but completely uncertain when I wasn’t. It took me a long time to truly trust him with my heart, but he was always patient and loving around my trust issues.

For us it was a life and death struggle in a world full of complete nonsense. He had a chronic illness which had challenged his will to live for decades. I had lost my will to live after so many decades of disappointment with the human race. He wanted to find new reasons to live, and he wanted to help me find new sources of joy.

West peak and Buddha in snow

We decided to make life great again TOGETHER…

From this I have learned that when you struggle together against great odds, you can build a powerful, trusting relationship, and you will never be the same after sharing struggles like this.

Thirteen years later we still face many health challenges, but we know we will face them together and we will find a way to win.

Can we even talk to each other anymore?

America as a free Speech Zone

Amendment I to the United States Constitution: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I was raised on this worldview from Voltaire:

‘I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it’

So I find this recent news story on CBS quite disturbing! Apparently some college students will not allow speakers of diverse views express those views on campus. After my own totally negative experience dealing with one spoiled student at Regis University, I feel the need to say, how spoiled are these children? And will their inability to tolerate a world that does not coddle them and their way of thinking destroy our democracy?

free speech and our feelingsI am reminded of a phrase that represents to me the ultimate spoiled child worldview: “I want what I want and I want it now!” There is a whole world of individuals who disagree with me and you, but democracy requires that we all get to express ourselves. Even if we find others’ views completely offensive, we need to all have the freedom to hold our own views of the world. Without that right we are no better than places like Russia and China where there is really no freedom at all.

What right do you have to silence the ideas of those who disagree with you? I believe that is called fascism. 

Ask the Expert: Mistakes in Dating after 40

Love imageOn the anniversary of when I first met Mike thirteen years ago, it seems we are celebrating the  “Super Bowl Sunday for Love.” Yes, according to  Match.com, after collecting over 20 years of data, tomorrow will bring a 42 percent increase in new singles to their site, thus maximizing your chances to find love again.

How to Believe in Love Again!I’ll bet you didn’t know that around half of single Americans have an online dating profile up somewhere. But for me, this brings up the biggest mistake most make when it comes to looking for and finding love later in life. If you have not dealt with your baggage from past relationships, if you have simply moved on after past romantic disasters, your luck at love will never change. Yes, you may find another victim to fall in love with. It may even feel wonderful for a year or two, but if deep inside you are filled with shame and doubt about yourself, no one else can decide to fix that but you.

If nothing changes within you from one relationship to another, than the results will be similar… and you know you don’t want that!

And if you are one of the millions who say, “Yeah, but people can’t change,” than I feel sorry for you. Because if you believe that, than it is true. One well-kept secret in our world today is that midlife is the perfect time to change your life. And when I say life, I mean everything about it!

No matter how miserable you may feel about your life up until now, if you are perfectly clear about wanting something completely different and are willing to commit to that goal, your life will change.

And in that process you will find the life you were meant to live, just as I did around age 50. If anyone had said to me, when I was in the worst of midlife slumps back in 2004: “Your life will change and in thirteen years you will be happily married, retired and living in a fantastic solar home in rural southern Colorado!” I probably would have slapped them and said “Get real!”

Believe in love in the sandsBut I have learned how to get past all the exterior nonsense and focus like a laser on what means the most to me in each moment of my life. I saw that I needed to find a way to believe I was worthy of genuine, lifelong love from a wonderful human being, and then I met him. Then I saw that I was worthy of a safe, comfortable, efficient place to live, and Mike and I manifested that dream recently.

My frustration is in how few people believe and achieve their most important life goals because they do not realize this is all within reach. When I discovered how much I could personally change myself and my fate, I wanted to share this knowledge with others, but most ignore me.

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Knowing and speaking our truth is the most powerful tool we all have!

It’s a brand new year and day! These books will help you think about the rest of your life. I would be happy to sell them to you as cheaply as I can, to prepare you for a much better existence. Find the love you have been searching for forever and the life you can love living.

At least get the last few decades of your life right…

 

Passive Solar Heating: The Basics

It has become abundantly clear, from your many comments, that most do not understand what passive solar heating means. Passive solar means there are no solar panels or any electricity involved in the creation and retention of heat within a building. The heat is created only by passive means of collecting energy from the sun and then retention of that heat by the physical structure of the home.

How is this done?

beginning to build on the slab comanche drive

Number 1: The positioning of the structure is essential. Mike made certain that our home was positioned facing directly south, with a whole wall of the correct type of glass doors and windows. In our case that included incredible views of the Spanish Peaks! You need full sun exposure on that side of the house. No trees, buildings, or other obstructions.

Number 2: In a passive solar home, the slab of concrete the home is placed on must be the heat-sink type and FULLY insulated from the earth. If it is not, the heat will come into the home during the day, sink into the foundation, and leak out of the slab, leaving the home cold at night when heat is most needed.

slab and framing of comanche drive

Number 3: Excellent insulation in the walls and ceiling of the home are essential. Holding the heat in once it enters the home is the only way it can remain warm when it is zero degrees outside. The home must be close to air-tight with quality doors and windows. Your floor must also be some sort of dark tile to help absorb more heat during the day.

new windows with Mike and Lee in photo

A view of the south-facing wall during construction

Number 4: Although the sun will be directly overhead in summer, proper overhangs on the south side of the home are essential to keep the sun from coming into the home too early in the fall. Mike also positioned our south-side overhang so that they are the correct size and angle to add solar panels later if needed.

Our home has very few windows on the north side, but a few on the east and west ends to absorb the morning and evening sun. We absorb solar heat most days in the winter, store it in our slab and it returns to keep us warm at night. Sometimes in mid-winter, we need to open a window at the warmest part of the day to cool off a bit!

clouds over Spanish Peaks summer

The view from our new PASSIVE SOLAR home!

So far in southern Colorado we have never fallen below 60 degrees at night no matter how cold it is outside. We supplement our solar heat with small room electric heaters. No furnace or propane needed. Ceiling fans help to distribute the heat.

Last January, when we lost electricity for three days because of a BAD ice storm, we stayed warm. With this system, we are able to average $100/month for all power to our home. A couple other unexpected benefits? Our home stays cool in the summer with its positioning to the sun and so much ceiling insulation, and it is so quiet inside all the time with no furnace turning on and off in winter!

The funniest part was learning that I didn’t need to turn down the thermostat when I left the house… the heat just keeps on coming in!