“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans. 

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

mortality midlife Americans“The increased deaths were concentrated among those with the least education and resulted largely from drug and alcohol “poisonings,” suicide, and chronic liver diseases and cirrhosis. This midlife mortality reversal had no parallel in any other industrialized society or in other demographic groups in the United States.” “

This report also cited “evidence of declining mental and physical health among whites ages 45 to 54 between 1999 and 2013. According to national surveys, mental illness rose.There were significant increases as well in the percentages reporting poor health, chronic pain, and difficulties with such activities as walking a quarter mile, climbing ten steps, and socializing with others. The percentage reporting themselves unable to work doubled.” 

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

After our first big mountain snow storm!

Yesterday was cloudy, gray and rainy all day. We only got up to 46 degrees and received over an inch of rain! So we tried out our electric heaters last night and they worked pretty well. I don’t like to be too warm at night, because I’m still having hot flashes…

IMGP4352This was our view of the mountains this AM.IMGP4356This was the view around 8:40AM, twenty minutes later…


IMGP4363
and this is our view of the Spanish Peaks around 10 AM MST.

IMGP4364What a way to spend the morning, watching the Sangre de Cristos emerge in their lovely winter regalia.

My latest haiku:

High mountain snows. We get plenty of warning. Winter is coming!

How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir!

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What does retirement mean to you?

Laura at Cordova Pass Overlook October 2015I have observed that there are just about as many responses to the idea of retirement as there are people. Many count the days to retirement. They see it as complete freedom, and can’t wait!

Others fear that kind of freedom. They are convinced that they need to be contributing at all times, and feel driven to continue for reasons of self-esteem and/or legacy.

I believe this has a lot to do with early brainwashing. If your parents are driven to contribute, than you may also have that driving spirit. If your parents look forward to retirement as reward for a job well done, you may too.

My family is the hard-driving type, and my siblings also feel that they have no purpose if they cannot work.

My new husband at age 50 saw things differently. Because of serious health issues, he wasn’t able to hold down a 40+ hour a week job past age 60.

When I first met Mike ten years ago I was still quite driven. I launched myself into my new writing career with my usual enthusiasm and stubbornness, convinced that I could make it big as a blogger and author.

tell negative committee to shut upOver the past ten years my attitudes have changed dramatically. Mike has convinced me that being hard on myself and driven does not lead to contentment or even a happy life. It just leads to frustration with myself and others.

At what point is it OK to give yourself a break and say,   “You are fine just the way you are.” 

I have given much thought to my feelings about myself when I die. I do not believe that I will feel any better about myself then, if I produce more books or make any more money.

My time now is mine, and I plan to spend it doing whatever I choose, not feeling driven by my fears or my ego.

who you are supposed to be

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Oh no! Not again…

Unfortunately, I have history with brain injuries. Then yesterday, while trying to hang a picture, I fell backwards off a short stool, onto our stone floor and yep, a whole new concussion.

So it was off to the ER, because my head was bleeding badly. You know what they say about scalp wounds? Well they really do bleed a lot! But an attractive, young MD and a few staples in my scalp did the trick.

Yep, another case of feeling stupid, ever since I did a face plant off my bike in 2008 and sustained a TBI, fractured ribs, etc.

I’ve been very careful… really! I don’t know how this happened. Well, actually I do. I remember the accident this time, especially the cracking sound as my head hit the floor!

My advice, always use those short ladders with a handle up top, and don’t move anywhere that is so rural that you don’t have a good ER nearby, for those messy situations we can get ourselves into at any age!

BTW, my cute MD who looked a tad bit like the young George Clooney in the TV series ER agrees with me. 🙂

Enjoying a lazy day after our second move in a year!

IMGP3962We finally have a day when we feel we can relax a bit, after moving in here last Wednesday. We are beat, and that includes Rasta on Mike’s lap!

IMGP3965There is still stuff stacked everywhere, but we are making progress, and also discovering some cool stuff we haven’t seen in over a year!

IMGP3968We are finding it strange that we have hundreds of sunflowers growing right around our new home, while they are not nearly as common in this area. IMGP3975We’ve decided to take it as a sign of favor from the great spirit… why not?

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An undeniable peace…

Our mountain retreat is a DREAM COME TRUE. We’re both completely exhausted, and yet quite pleased with the result of our two years of change, stress and labor…

The view from our bed through the sliding door:

IMGP3935You just have to love those resilient sunflowers!  

I see some serious cloud-watching in our future…