Living in rural USA

My 4th of July Trip Down Memory Lane

/ Laura Lee Carter / 3 Comments

I lived in Fort Collins and Loveland Colorado from 1995 until Mike and I moved south in 2014. I moved to Fort Collins with one husband and left with another. The divorce in 2001 was brutal for me, not because I lost a love, but because I felt like a loser afterwards for a few years. Of course, it did not help that I lost over 75% of my income, but loneliness was my major issue.

I felt certain that I would spend the rest of my life alone.

horsetooth in summer

We went up to Fort Collins this past holiday to visit old friends. I got up early my first day there and visited some of the places where I lived, like Horsetooth Reservoir.

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My first husband and I purchased a log home overlooking Horsetooth Reservoir, Lory State Park and the Bellvue Dome in 1995. Early in the morning the air is so cool up there, and the reservoir looks fantastic! I was surprised to see how the hillside leading up to our log home has been transformed into a bevy of large, luxury homes. When we lived there most of the houses were old and rundown.

Old Town in summer with flowersEveryone says home prices in Fort Collins are through the roof now, and I can see why. It really is beautiful…for a city. It felt a lot like Boulder did decades ago with all the hip, outdoor-types moving in. I enjoyed how green it was with flowers everywhere.

The next day I drove down to Loveland to see a friend, and had a look at our past home on Morning Drive. I’m sure glad we didn’t stay there long! It looked so crowded in, and it’s only a block or so from a major highway leading up to Estes Park and Rocky Mountain National Park.

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Overall, I enjoyed visiting my old haunts. I felt somehow stuck in my past for a day or two. Then I returned to our fantastic new home in the foothills of southern Colorado, and knew I was home.         The cool, quiet of nature suits me just fine!

My theme song now!

memoir of retirement 2016Hello and welcome to my world. I’m new to southern Colorado, and recently compiled a book about the ups and downs of moving from Fort Collins Colorado to west of Walsenburg to build a passive solar retirement home:           A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado.     Please contact me directly to order your own signed copies of any of my other books…   Cheers, Laura Lee  (email: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

 

It’s not where you start, it’s how you finish…

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

That is how I like to see my life now. Growing up with a strong German emphasis, I learned to measure myself by my daily productivity. What had I produced today? Being a good girl back then meant never feeling adequate, always trying harder to achieve some illusive sense of “good enough.”

“What’s this? One B along with all of these nice A’s?”

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As strange as it may seem, it was only through a number of difficult crises in my late forties that I found ways to transform myself and my life. Bad marriage, divorce, job and then career loss, you get the picture. I spent some serious time living on severance and unemployment, changing my whole perspective on me. “Good girl” hadn’t worked out. What’s next?

things left unsaidI began a full out rebellion at age 49! I became a writer at age 50, after 25 years of not saying what I needed to and not getting what I wanted as a good girl/ mild-mannered librarian. I stopped saying all the right things while agreeing with everybody. Mostly I stopped apologizing for being me.

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In other words, I started a blog!

I learned to take care of my needs first, with no guilt or shame, and create what I wanted for me. My life has been so much better since I made that decision, and it just keeps getting BETTER!

Today I follow my passions with color, creativity, and nature. We moved to rural Colorado three years ago with no rules about what we have to do today. I live with a man who accepts me exactly the way I am, without conditions, and I find it almost impossible to take crap from just about anybody anymore.

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And people say aging isn’t liberating…

Lala Land: A Musical Done Right!

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment

I have always loved a good musical. Even as a child I loved waltzing along with Anna in The King and I or singing along with Debbie Reynolds in The Unsinkable Molly Brown.  Mike is always astounded when I burst into song with all of the right words from so many old musicals. One of our favorite games as kids was to create a talent show in our garage, so I was quite anxious to see Lala Land. I figured I would either love it or hate it. Since we have no theater access to new films here, I’ve been borrowing all my movies from the La Veta Public Library, and they finally got a copy!             Now I’m going to have to buy it…

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I found this lovely film to be a delicious and delightful cinematic tidbit, a triumph of mostly non-verbal communication. As an overly verbal person who can too easily get caught up in analysis paralysis, this film helped me to escape my analytical mind and just experience the music and settings free of reality. That is what a good musical is supposed to do! I loved the way it was mostly based in “reality” but then these two lovers suddenly danced off into the stars…

falling in love rocksLala Land captured better than any film I have ever seen, that magical feeling of falling in love. That joy at knowing, “How did I ever get so lucky? I’m finally at the right place at the right time!” I didn’t want any of it to end. The artistic freedom of the creators of this wonderful escape into lala land was amazing. Only today can we feel so free with creativity! I am so glad this film finally got made!

I also related to the other theme of following your dreams, and especially the fact that they captured the negative as well as pathologically optimistic part of that experience. When Mia’s play flops and she feels completely discouraged, I was reminded of my attempt at having a launch party for my first book. Nobody showed up! I just wanted to quit, but I didn’t.

I even liked the realistic ending to this story. Sad to say, most young love stories don’t turn out well, but that is not to say they are not one of the best experiences of your life. Being young is often depressing and can be so disappointing, but we all go on. Live and learn. I used to facetiously call this: Pushing on to greater failures.

LOVE in LaLaLand

I loved the way these two smiled at each other at the end, as if to say, “We turned out OK.” If you can love another person this much and still feel good about it not working out, you’ve got it made!

 

How to Believe in Love Again!If love hasn’t ever worked out for you, perhaps you’ve lost faith in love. I realized how disillusioned I was age 49. I knew my greatest wish was to experience true love again, but I didn’t believe in it anymore. So, as a therapist, I found ways to get back to that wonderful feeling of trusting others and self love. Then I met the perfect partner for me! My book: How to Believe in LOVE Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom is a summary of how I got back to believing in love again.  Please send me an e-mail. Let’s talk! I’d love to hook you up with any of my books, at a great price!

Email: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com 

Number 500 of the Best of Boomer Blogs!

/ Laura Lee Carter / 3 Comments

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Freedom of the press is only available to those who own one, and now, we do!

Ten years ago I decided to become a writer. Fifty seemed like the perfect age to start something brand NEW. Ah, was one 50-year-old ever so naive? At first I found some success as a freelance writer. Then I met a young (compared to me…) blogger who got me excited about the idea of instant self-publishing.

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Since then I have created a number of blogs, but my first was called the “Midlife Crisis Queen.” I put six years of my life into that creative product, then I scrapped it for this one. But the whole time I participated in the “Best of Boomer Blogs.” Why? Because I love interacting with other bloggers, seeing what they are thinking about, and reading their posts.

BBB participants have changed many times throughout this past decade. Today we have some tremendously talented bloggers. Let’s get to it!

On The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, writes about cell phone etiquette this week. Staying 10 feet away from others when you talk, avoiding use of your cell phone when you’re driving, and putting your phone’s ringer on silent mode in theaters and restaurants are among the recommendations. See Robison’s article, “Please: Use Cell Phone Etiquette,” for more tips on the polite use of cell phones in public.

Problems with a device – specifically a computer and iPad – started Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting thinking about issues those of us of a certain age often encounter when using computers, iPhones and other electronic gadgets. Read all about it in Reflections on Being Electronically Connected, Bewildered and Befuddled.  

Writer Carol Cassara just returned from 16 wonderful days in France, where the culinary delights are many. French food is known for its liberal use of butter, sugar and bread, all forbidden on her present diet. Here’s how she mastered the challenges of superior French cuisine!                                          

In A Weekend to Remember, Tom Sightings reports from Washington, DC. In his post he shares some of the sights, as well as a few things he has realized about politics and our country.

As for me, I am astonished at how much my writing and my life have changed since my simple beginnings as a writer back in 2006. Lesson #1: Write for the love of it.

Here are a couple of my favorite photos from our drive up to Cuchara yesterday…

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 We had the bubbling Cucharas River on one side…

IMGP6159and this view of the West Peak off to our left!

This following your heart stuff really works!

Laura and Rasta on insulation 2014 (2)I’m new to southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a book about the ups and downs of moving from Fort Collins, Colorado to just west of Walsenburg to build a passive solar retirement home:      A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please contact me directly to order your own signed copies of any of my books!                                      Cheers, Laura Lee  (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

 

Easy Rider: The view from 62

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment

I was 14 years old when “Easy Rider” came out. I decided to see it again this week. So glad I did, if only for the music!

Wikipedia describes it as a 1969 American road movie written by Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Terry Southern, produced by Fonda and directed by Hopper. It tells the story of two bikers (played by Fonda and Hopper) who travel through the American Southwest and South after selling a large score of cocaine. The success of Easy Rider helped spark the New Hollywood era of film making during the early 1970s. The film was added to the Library of Congress National Film Registry in 1998, a landmark counterculture film and a “touchstone for a generation.” Easy Rider explores the societal landscape, issues, and tensions in the United States during the 1960s, such as the rise of the hippie movement, drug use, and communal lifestyle.

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Although I know this film hasn’t changed in 48 years, watching it showed me how much I have changed, and most of my changes have taken place since moving to rural Colorado. For example, when the riders pick up a hippie on the way to a commune, they eventually ask him where he’s from. His answer is simple and so true: “A city.” When pressed for more he says it doesn’t really matter what city, because cities have the same effect on us as people. I so agree now. And if you don’t, I challenge you to move to the country for a few years. Then we’ll talk.

I have also learned a lot about my biases and judgments of people I don’t know. For some reason, moving here has lightened my load of judgments on those who don’t look like me. I know in ‘Easy Rider’ the country people in the south hate hippie-types. There’s a great line in there from George, the local drunk played wonderfully by Jack Nicholson, who tags along with them on their journey to New Orleans. He says many just don’t appreciate the freedom these two bikers represent. When they see it they want to kill it. Nice foreshadowing.

My brother John and Mike in our developing sky garden last May…

Mike rode a Gold Wing when I first met him. Before I fell in love with him 12 years ago, I judged those who rode motorcycles, especially if they had a tattoo. When I first set eyes on Mike I thought, oh no, he has a tattoo. My next thought was but it’s nice dragon! So much for that judgment… I have learned quite a bit about how to experience true personal freedom by living with Mike and by moving away from cities.

How do we benefit from judging ourselves and others? We don’t.

Enjoy my new personal journey about this transition from city to country living…