“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans. 

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

mortality midlife Americans“The increased deaths were concentrated among those with the least education and resulted largely from drug and alcohol “poisonings,” suicide, and chronic liver diseases and cirrhosis. This midlife mortality reversal had no parallel in any other industrialized society or in other demographic groups in the United States.” “

This report also cited “evidence of declining mental and physical health among whites ages 45 to 54 between 1999 and 2013. According to national surveys, mental illness rose.There were significant increases as well in the percentages reporting poor health, chronic pain, and difficulties with such activities as walking a quarter mile, climbing ten steps, and socializing with others. The percentage reporting themselves unable to work doubled.” 

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

Sights and Sightings in Trinidad Colorado

Just to let you know how life is different when you move to a rural county, we had to take our puppy to Trinidad, about an hour away yesterday, to get some eye surgery done. We had tried this same surgery last year at the only vet in our county and he screwed it up, allowing the tumor to return. So we went to see Dr. Felduto in Trinidad. He guaranteed if Rasta’s eye tumor ever came back again, he would fix it for free.

What this meant logistically for us was that we had to find things to do in Trinidad for four hours while Rasta’s anesthesia wore off. First we hit Walmart, since we don’t have one in Walsenburg, and we needed a few things not available in our area.

cowboys at sunsetOutside of Walmart we saw something neither one of us have ever witnessed. There, near the front door, was an old cowboy with his horse, a mule for cargo, and three dogs. He had ridden into Walmart to buy supplies. As he took off, it looked just like a scene from the 1880s.

Next we had a great lunch at the Mexican restaurant called Tequilas just across I-25 from Walmart. It had been recommended to us, and they were right. Wonderful food, great service and nice atmosphere!

Then we took a random drive around downtown Trinidad, ending up at the Masonic Cemetery.

MasonicCemetery Trinidad COThe Trinidad area was first visited by Spanish and Mexican traders, because of its proximity to the Santa Fe Trail. After coal was discovered in the region in 1862, the town experienced an influx of immigrants eager for jobs. In 1878 the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway reached Trinidad, making it easier for goods to be shipped from distant locations. By 1900, the population of Trinidad had grown to 7,500, home to two English and one Spanish language newspaper.

Mike and I both enjoy old gravestones to gain a better sense of western history, so we took a walk in the cemetery. What struck us both was how rare it was for people in Trindad’s past to live past age 40, one hundred years ago. We kept seeing the graves of those who were born in the late 1800s, who only lived into the 1910s or 20s.

Find Your Reason Cover tiny for HPI knew from my research for my book about Boomers, how rare it was for those born in the early 1900s to make it past age 60, but there were so many gravestones for those who never made it to age five or ten or twenty in this cemetery!

gravestone trinidadThe saddest were the graves of children. There were even a few double graves of siblings who only lived to age 3 or 4. These are all parts of history we know, but to see the actual gravestones is somehow more powerful.  We also saw stones written in other languages like Greek and German. These were immigrants who risked everything to come out to Colorado to start a new life. Yes, we feel vulnerable today, but imagine how vulnerable those who went before us really were…

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After our first big mountain snow storm!

Yesterday was cloudy, gray and rainy all day. We only got up to 46 degrees and received over an inch of rain! So we tried out our electric heaters last night and they worked pretty well. I don’t like to be too warm at night, because I’m still having hot flashes…

IMGP4352This was our view of the mountains this AM.IMGP4356This was the view around 8:40AM, twenty minutes later…


IMGP4363
and this is our view of the Spanish Peaks around 10 AM MST.

IMGP4364What a way to spend the morning, watching the Sangre de Cristos emerge in their lovely winter regalia.

My latest haiku:

High mountain snows. We get plenty of warning. Winter is coming!

How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir!

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Sunset, Sunrise – Life in Colorado!

Sorry if I’m boring you, but I cannot get over the fireworks up at our new home in the foothills west of Walsenburg in southern Colorado!

Last night the sunset seemed to go on and on.

IMGP4330It started out like this, and then transitioned…

IMGP4340into this

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and this.

IMGP4346Then this morning I woke up to this! Yes, the snow is getting deeper in the Sangre de Cristos! We get plenty of warning here. Winter is coming soon!

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I am filled with gratitude that I can now live like this forever.  Please go see my new memoir!

What’s the deal with dogs and cats?

Miss KittyI’ll bet you didn’t know the second thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up, after Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke! was a psychobiologist.

Yes, I wanted to study animal behavior.

IMGP4322So when we added a kitten to our household this week, with a well established puppy named Rasta, it only took us a day or two to realize that neither one of us had ever had a cat AND a dog at the same time in the same house. We kept looking at each other as if one of us would know how this works.

Well, this is how it works from my perspective. The dog keeps expecting the cat to act more like a dog, and the cat keeps expecting the dog to act like a cat.

For example, they play in very different ways. The cat loves to chase everything around, although he hasn’t killed our car motor rat just yet as far as we can tell. The dog only wants to fetch his toys for us.

I will say our dog seems more territorial and loyal. He keeps trying to defend me against the cat!

They observe each other more with curiosity than disdain, and I can tell they basically enjoy each other, although Rasta has his moments:

IMGP4328They are both equally “lap happy.” Both love a good lap, and even more so as the weather gets colder. Rasta is only eleven pounds, so I’m curious which one will end up weighing more.

All in all we are quite pleased with our new addition and we’re hoping Rasta will feel the same soon.

Now if Charlie would just kill that nasty rat!