NEW Old Farts

Early spring wildflowers in Southern Colorado

/ Laura Lee Carter / 3 Comments

Words cannot properly capture the wonder and beauty of spring up here at 7,000 feet. Granted, it does take a long time to get here, but when it does, it is true magic. These yellow flowers appear everywhere in early spring, sometimes as super blooms!

yellow spring Navajo Tea flowersThey are called Plains Greenthread (or Navajo Tea)

Among the Navajo Tea, I also find this purple Penstemon early!

The lupines and Colorado Four O’clocks will come later…  but for now,

Mountain iris are blooming in May at higher altitudes

I am simply grooving on the beauty that surrounds me.

Purpose is highly overrated

/ Laura Lee Carter / 1 Comment

I was raised by a father who was full of purpose. Let’s face it, most previous generations thought the only reason they were here was to find their special purpose (Thanks Steve Martin in The Jerk!) I also used to think that meaning and purpose were important to find. But today, not so much.

Do you realize how many memes you can find if you search under “purpose” and then “images”?  There are thousands! But one that particularly struck me was:

To be here now is your true purpose!

Needless to say, retirement can bring up all sorts of questions about previous and present purpose. In the past my purpose was apparently to go to work and do my job. Regardless of how I felt about it, going to work did give me something to do with myself. I felt useful most of the time.

With retirement I have so much more time to think about purpose, and I have come to the conclusion that most of what we do everyday has little meaning unless it makes us feel good about ourselves.

Now I choose to error on the side of passion over purpose. I know for certain that nothing I will do today will change the world. Few will miss me when I’m gone, so why not choose a few pastimes that provide pure joy for me right now and indulge?

My favorite at present is playing in my small and windy garden…We should have hundreds of native sunflowers blooming soon! We got 4 inches of rain this May!

Don’t look back, you can never look back…

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

sexagenarian joke by Gracie AllenAs a sexagenarian (great name for our sixties, huh?) I have entered into a period of being in the present in such a lovely, positive, relaxing way. This feels somehow like my reward for living life fully, to do what I want and answer to nobody.

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Something about living in an amazing natural place keeps me present most of the time, so much so that I rarely want to leave. I find nature so grounding.

But, as a therapist, I would like to make the case for paying attention to those moments in your past that you simply cannot let go, those moments that come up in your dreams and demand more psychic attention. I know that if I had not gone through a divorce and job loss in my late 40s and then decided to re-think my life, I would not be so content today.

past better not bitterPart of that process for me was contacting a key person from my past for a few astonishingly healing and cathartic conversations. Only you can decide whether letting your past go is possible and healing, or doing something in the present will expedite your movement into a better present and future. In my case I was quite lucky, because the lover from my past was also seeking redemption and healing. I don’t think any other choice would have provided that kind of healing for both of us. The whole experience felt like a blessing.

How to Believe in Love Again!Sometimes the only way to move on is to take note of what you simply cannot let go of in your past. I would not know about this without experiencing it personally. To learn more about psychic healing and how it can help you believe in love again, I offer you my book: How to Believe in Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom.                      Please do not purchase my books through Amazon. I receive nothing from them. Just send me an e-mail at: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com to request a copy.        I promise you a great price!

Easy Rider: The view from 62

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment

I was 14 years old when “Easy Rider” came out. I decided to see it again this week. So glad I did, if only for the music!

Wikipedia describes it as a 1969 American road movie written by Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Terry Southern, produced by Fonda and directed by Hopper. It tells the story of two bikers (played by Fonda and Hopper) who travel through the American Southwest and South after selling a large score of cocaine. The success of Easy Rider helped spark the New Hollywood era of film making during the early 1970s. The film was added to the Library of Congress National Film Registry in 1998, a landmark counterculture film and a “touchstone for a generation.” Easy Rider explores the societal landscape, issues, and tensions in the United States during the 1960s, such as the rise of the hippie movement, drug use, and communal lifestyle.

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Although I know this film hasn’t changed in 48 years, watching it showed me how much I have changed, and most of my changes have taken place since moving to rural Colorado. For example, when the riders pick up a hippie on the way to a commune, they eventually ask him where he’s from. His answer is simple and so true: “A city.” When pressed for more he says it doesn’t really matter what city, because cities have the same effect on us as people. I so agree now. And if you don’t, I challenge you to move to the country for a few years. Then we’ll talk.

I have also learned a lot about my biases and judgments of people I don’t know. For some reason, moving here has lightened my load of judgments on those who don’t look like me. I know in ‘Easy Rider’ the country people in the south hate hippie-types. There’s a great line in there from George, the local drunk played wonderfully by Jack Nicholson, who tags along with them on their journey to New Orleans. He says many just don’t appreciate the freedom these two bikers represent. When they see it they want to kill it. Nice foreshadowing.

My brother John and Mike in our developing sky garden last May…

Mike rode a Gold Wing when I first met him. Before I fell in love with him 12 years ago, I judged those who rode motorcycles, especially if they had a tattoo. When I first set eyes on Mike I thought, oh no, he has a tattoo. My next thought was but it’s nice dragon! So much for that judgment… I have learned quite a bit about how to experience true personal freedom by living with Mike and by moving away from cities.

How do we benefit from judging ourselves and others? We don’t.

Enjoy my new personal journey about this transition from city to country living…

Springtime Gardening near the Sangre de Cristos

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

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The West Peak is stunning in its new coat of snow!

Is there anything more wonderful than spring? Not for me! Especially this year when I finally have the ground prepared for my new wildflower garden! I’ve been in spring bliss in the past few weeks as I gather my precious new plants to decorate our Buddha garden. I enjoy Huerfano Nursery in Walsenburg and…

new plants at perennial favorites Rye

I finally went to experience Perennial Favorites near Rye, Colorado. That place is simply heaven to me, just as wonderful as I hoped it would be! My botany friend Jan says these feelings are in my genetics, with a famous botanist for a father I can’t help myself!

IMGP6036Here’s my small plot to plant and the lovely planting box Mike built for me this spring. I’m trying to grow a few native plants from seeds, plus I have purchased quite a few starters. The deer and rabbits are a concern, so I tried to choose ones they don’t like as much, lavender, penstemons, Blue Mist Spirea. As I took my walks around La Veta last summer, I noticed which plants were surviving the many deer prowling the streets there.

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I also took a few cuttings from a local cholla cactus. Love their magenta blossoms in JULY! It will be a few years before it blooms, but that’s what gardening is all about, tending and caring for your plants as they grow.

NM LocustAlso, I have a request for any locals reading this: Does anyone have seeds for the New Mexican Locust trees we see everywhere past La Veta on the road to Cuchara? I want to try growing them in our area! Thanks!  -LLC

Dating is so different past age 40!

/ Laura Lee Carter / 9 Comments

For some reason I am perpetually fascinated with dating behavior, and I must not be alone! Perhaps because it took me decades of first dates to finally find the one, I now believe in LOVE! I met my first husband through the Boulder Daily Camera and by letter back in 1992. My second was through Match.com

WiFi BrideI even started my own dating service back in 2004 at age 49. I was tired of the Internet nonsense, and wanted to offer the singles in my small city of Loveland (Yes, Loveland!) Colorado an alternative. I spent hours with each client finding out what they were looking for before setting them up with a local single. The only problem was inventory! I attracted so many cool older single women and few cool men, so I set myself up on Match.com as bait to attractive more single men. I thank my lucky stars for that move today, because Mike was the first man I met this way!

blind date hellI know, most blind dates are extremely stressful. I’ve experienced quite a few in my life. Have you had the pleasure of watching the new TV show “First Dates” yet? This show is set in a restaurant full of couples meeting for the first time live. So interesting to see their initial reactions when they first meet, and disappointing to see how judgmental the younger couples are with each other. Most have a complete judgment made BEFORE they even open their mouths! Running to the restroom to call a friend within minutes of meeting someone seems extremely RUDE to me…

The part of the show I like best is the elder couples. As a general rule they are magnificent with each other and their feelings. They have had a few couples in their 60s and 70s who treat each other well and generally want to get together afterwards for a second date. It shows to me the difference between those who know how to create true connections with caring others and those who wish to play with their phones during a first date.

falling in love rocksMike and I made an amazing connection within minutes of meeting, and spent the next ten hours enjoying each others’ company. Sometimes life surprises you that way, but only if you are willing to take a few risks and have a few less than perfect dates with strangers. In case you have more interest in how I turned my conflicts with love into happily ever after at age 49, please consider reading my book: How to Believe in Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom. 

Let’s work around Amazon (the evil empire!) and make sure authors get paid for their books!           Please contact me directly to order your own signed copies of any of my books!  Cheers, Laura Lee  (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)