“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife

November 3, 2015February 21, 2019 / Laura Lee Carter / 7 Comments

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans.

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

“The increased deaths were concentrated among those with the least education and resulted largely from drug and alcohol “poisonings,” suicide, and chronic liver diseases and cirrhosis. This midlife mortality reversal had no parallel in any other industrialized society or in other demographic groups in the United States.” “

This report also cited “evidence of declining mental and physical health among whites ages 45 to 54 between 1999 and 2013. According to national surveys, mental illness rose.There were significant increases as well in the percentages reporting poor health, chronic pain, and difficulties with such activities as walking a quarter mile, climbing ten steps, and socializing with others. The percentage reporting themselves unable to work doubled.”

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

WOW! We just moved here and now we’re on the national news!

November 2, 2015November 2, 2015 / Laura Lee Carter / 1 Comment

Want to learn more about what’s happening in our tiny town of Walsenburg, Colorado?

Check out this USA Today story!

Sights and Sightings in Trinidad Colorado

October 27, 2015July 13, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 6 Comments

Just to let you know how life is different when you move to a rural county, we had to take our puppy to Trinidad, about an hour away yesterday, to get some eye surgery done. We had tried this same surgery last year at the only vet in our county and he screwed it up, allowing the tumor to return. So we went to see Dr. Felduto in Trinidad. He guaranteed if Rasta’s eye tumor ever came back again, he would fix it for free.

What this meant logistically for us was that we had to find things to do in Trinidad for four hours while Rasta’s anesthesia wore off. First we hit Walmart, since we don’t have one in Walsenburg, and we needed a few things not available in our area.

Outside of Walmart we saw something neither one of us have ever witnessed. There, near the front door, was an old cowboy with his horse, a mule for cargo, and three dogs. He had ridden into Walmart to buy supplies. As he took off, it looked just like a scene from the 1880s.

Next we had a great lunch at the Mexican restaurant called Tequilas just across I-25 from Walmart. It had been recommended to us, and they were right. Wonderful food, great service and nice atmosphere!

Then we took a random drive around downtown Trinidad, ending up at the Masonic Cemetery.

The Trinidad area was first visited by Spanish and Mexican traders, because of its proximity to the Santa Fe Trail. After coal was discovered in the region in 1862, the town experienced an influx of immigrants eager for jobs. In 1878 the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway reached Trinidad, making it easier for goods to be shipped from distant locations. By 1900, the population of Trinidad had grown to 7,500, home to two English and one Spanish language newspaper.

Mike and I both enjoy old gravestones to gain a better sense of western history, so we took a walk in the cemetery. What struck us both was how rare it was for people in Trindad’s past to live past age 40, one hundred years ago. We kept seeing the graves of those who were born in the late 1800s, who only lived into the 1910s or 20s.

I knew from my research for my book about Boomers, how rare it was for those born in the early 1900s to make it past age 60, but there were so many gravestones for those who never made it to age five or ten or twenty in this cemetery!

The saddest were the graves of children. There were even a few double graves of siblings who only lived to age 3 or 4. These are all parts of history we know, but to see the actual gravestones is somehow more powerful. We also saw stones written in other languages like Greek and German. These were immigrants who risked everything to come out to Colorado to start a new life. Yes, we feel vulnerable today, but imagine how vulnerable those who went before us really were…

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

When did you first begin thinking about retirement?

August 29, 2015February 4, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

Mike and I had an interesting conversation yesterday about retirement. I was talking about how strange, but wonderful it is living here in the southern Colorado foothills, when I said, “This was really your dream, but I love it!” So he turned to me and asked, “What was your dream?” I was totally stumped.

When I met Mike over ten years ago, I was unemployed after an unfair firing at age 49. I was actively worrying about my next house payment. I don’t recall ever thinking about retirement! In fact, I had only thought so far as to put away as much money as I possibly could. That was about it.

So I asked him when he started thinking about it. He said he began dreaming about it in childhood. That was when he first imagined having a tremendous view in a rural mountainous area. The man has always had so much more vision than myself.

I’m not completely sure why, but I have always had trouble fantasizing something better, and in this way I now see how I have severely limited my options.

Why bring this up? Because I now think it is so important to teach your kids to continue to visualize a better life. If you can’t visualize it, you probably won’t be able to create it. These are the words I live by now:

Abundance is how we live in each moment – the choice to be open, the choice to entertain the possibility that we can have, create and attract what we truly want.

Figuring out where you belong

October 28, 2014March 3, 2017 / Laura Lee Carter / 5 Comments

Just took a quick trip out to our building site west of town… Every time I do, I feel even more certain that this is the place in this big, wonderful world that I belong!

I know we all have our own opinions of the most beautiful places in the world. Some can’t live without the ocean, others love the plains, but I am perfectly sure that this semi-arid piece of land close to the high mountains suits me just fine.

It’s hard to say what it is that makes me so certain. The absolute silence is very important to me, especially after listening to the relentless traffic noise in Fort Collins for nine years. The natural beauty and wide variety of birds, plants and wildlife also help… This is simply my place.

This setting makes me feel like I never want to leave. I feel gratitude that we can finally live our dream in our very own place in the sun… solar-powered, of course!

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home in the foothills:

A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts

Beauty is the garden where hope grows

retirement in southern Colorado

“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans.

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

WOW! We just moved here and now we’re on the national news!

Want to learn more about what’s happening in our tiny town of Walsenburg, Colorado?

Check out this USA Today story!

Sights and Sightings in Trinidad Colorado

What this meant logistically for us was that we had to find things to do in Trinidad for four hours while Rasta’s anesthesia wore off. First we hit Walmart, since we don’t have one in Walsenburg, and we needed a few things not available in our area.

Outside of Walmart we saw something neither one of us have ever witnessed. There, near the front door, was an old cowboy with his horse, a mule for cargo, and three dogs. He had ridden into Walmart to buy supplies. As he took off, it looked just like a scene from the 1880s.

Next we had a great lunch at the Mexican restaurant called Tequilas just across I-25 from Walmart. It had been recommended to us, and they were right. Wonderful food, great service and nice atmosphere!

Then we took a random drive around downtown Trinidad, ending up at the Masonic Cemetery.

I knew from my research for my book about Boomers, how rare it was for those born in the early 1900s to make it past age 60, but there were so many gravestones for those who never made it to age five or ten or twenty in this cemetery!

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

When did you first begin thinking about retirement?

When I met Mike over ten years ago, I was unemployed after an unfair firing at age 49. I was actively worrying about my next house payment. I don’t recall ever thinking about retirement! In fact, I had only thought so far as to put away as much money as I possibly could. That was about it.

So I asked him when he started thinking about it. He said he began dreaming about it in childhood. That was when he first imagined having a tremendous view in a rural mountainous area. The man has always had so much more vision than myself.

I’m not completely sure why, but I have always had trouble fantasizing something better, and in this way I now see how I have severely limited my options.

Why bring this up? Because I now think it is so important to teach your kids to continue to visualize a better life. If you can’t visualize it, you probably won’t be able to create it. These are the words I live by now:

Abundance is how we live in each moment – the choice to be open, the choice to entertain the possibility that we can have, create and attract what we truly want.

Figuring out where you belong

Just took a quick trip out to our building site west of town… Every time I do, I feel even more certain that this is the place in this big, wonderful world that I belong!

I know we all have our own opinions of the most beautiful places in the world. Some can’t live without the ocean, others love the plains, but I am perfectly sure that this semi-arid piece of land close to the high mountains suits me just fine.

It’s hard to say what it is that makes me so certain. The absolute silence is very important to me, especially after listening to the relentless traffic noise in Fort Collins for nine years. The natural beauty and wide variety of birds, plants and wildlife also help… This is simply my place.

This setting makes me feel like I never want to leave. I feel gratitude that we can finally live our dream in our very own place in the sun… solar-powered, of course!

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home in the foothills:

A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)