Watch out what you wish for…

The Internet is all about self-promotion. In fact, our country is all about self-promotion. Ask the millions, or perhaps billions of promoters on Twitter, Instagram, etc. etc. Everyone is trying to figure out a way to become famous enough to make a killing, so they don’t have to go to their regular jobs.       Ask kids today. They get it. How many hope to become so famous through the Internet, that they don’t have to ever go get a real job?

Most of us would like to figure out how to become master manipulators of others.

And have you noticed yet? It is these master manipulators (celebrities) that we worship. Look how they convince others to send them their hard-earned dollars. Isn’t that great?  Then we act surprised when we get manipulated ourselves!

love America James BaldwinCase in point, look who we have for president now. Talk about a master manipulator! He decided long ago that being famous was much more important than being useful or intelligent. Americans are just that stupid. So we now have a reality TV star for president.                                              I’ll bet you thought that could never happen…

And further more, I’m afraid he sees his job now as just an extension of his reality TV show. Ratings are all that count! Of course some Americans have figured out exactly how scary this scenario is, note his approval ratings. Oh, Trump says, that’s all just fake news! Anyone for alternative realities?

But our bumbling Mr. Trump also has this problem all figured out. He’s saving up his best attention-getters for when he really needs them. Anyone for a war with North Korea? How about Iran or Syria? Is everybody in?

It’s all a game for Mr. Trump, a ratings game with millions of lives at stake. This is what we get for idealizing master manipulators instead of integrity and intelligence.

My greatest fear is that our own electoral college will cause the end of the world.

The Supreme Freedom of Retirement

Retirement hasn’t been at all like I pictured it. In fact, I never even pictured it until I met Mike thirteen years ago. The fact is, I couldn’t afford it back then, instead I was quite busy looking for a new job at age 49.

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At that time, good fortune visited me big time! I decided I needed to change careers, and Mike decided he wanted to support me in this new endeavor. Thus emerged my “Midlife Crisis Queen” blog (now defunct) and my three books about the challenges and rewards of changing everything in midlife.

Then Mike and I moved to rural Colorado in 2014, which required some major mental adjustments (at least for me) and we worked full-time to produce a passive solar home in a little over one year. It was only after that major life achievement that we began to officially “retire.”

retirement living for yourself

Now, a couple years later, I recently realized that retirement may be my first chance to observe my true nature. For the first time in my life nobody is telling me what to do, no parents, no boss, no need to be nice to make money, no need to prove myself to anyone. Basically no pressure and very little stress of any kind.

For the first time I get to decide how much self-discipline I want to have. At first we both had very little. We were both so exhausted from over a year of home building. Mike and I both felt numb. We loved to sit and look at our view and just feel glad to be alive.

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The meaning of life is having a spectacular view…

But after a while, you begin to wonder who you are beyond all the rules and self-discipline that has filled your life up until now. Do you like who you really are? Do you enjoy hanging out with yourself and your significant other?

How will you fill your life now? These are the kinds of questions that keep some from ever retiring. They may be afraid of what they might become with no rules or structure. I enjoy this phase of life so much more than I ever imagined! I love the lack of rules or structure to my days.

Mike at home

I don’t need very much to give my life meaning, because my meaning is in the enjoyment of each day.

I appreciate the fact that I have a better life than just about anyone else on planet earth right now, and I’m going to enjoy the hell out of that until I draw my last breathe…

forget the past and failures

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I compiled a short diary of our ups and downs as we moved from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home in the foothills:

A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books!  Cheers, Laura Lee  (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

 

Nature versus Numbness

Xmas 2010 JackThis past week I spent some time with my father, Jack Carter, a botanist and naturalist. He was a professor of biology at numerous universities and colleges, and is now a professor emeritus at Colorado College. He chose, much like Mike and I, to leave the city behind as he retired, and lived in rural New Mexico until recently.  I feel like my father understands the importance of developing special connections with nature, so I enjoy discussing with him how my own feelings have changed in the past few years just by moving away from the many distractions of city life.

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I enjoyed my time up north in the city, because spring has already arrived there. Just outside my parents’ door is a marvelous Crab Apple Tree in full bloom. What a beauty! The cities have so many introduced trees and plants that make it more colorful in the spring. I experienced a small amount of spring-envy…

On the other hand, as I walked around the lovely grounds near their home, all I could hear was traffic in the distance. This is a sound I am completely familiar with. Every city I have ever lived in has this distant roar of people in cars going somewhere, or at least trying to, with an occasional siren thrown in.

When I spoke with my Dad about this, he observed that everything in cities is about getting in your car to go somewhere. The distractions are constant and everywhere. They don’t allow us to become fully aware of our surroundings or even the people we meet. I sat outside, listened and understood why I haven’t connected well with nature for most of my life. There was just too much else going on.

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Then I started explaining to my Dad how much I finally appreciate nature. I love the morning silence, something I have heard so rarely in my life. I love the sound of birds as they get louder, welcoming another bountiful spring. I feel so in touch with each new change in the trees, the plants, the birds, and the weather. It is like a new awakening in my own soul.

Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better. Albert Einstein

My Dad understands these things. These are the reasons he chose to live outside cities until his health required moving closer to his doctors. There is something so reassuring about how the cycle of life and death continues regardless of anything we do to change it. This seems like cause for celebration for me, and I celebrate it every morning as the sun comes up.

Laura 60th birthday partyI’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado.  After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home:  A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books!  Cheers, Laura Lee  (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

A Whole Day Without Rules or Self-Judgment

The world is full of rules… Be the exception!

Laura 60th birthday party

Not so happy on my 60th birthday, because the damn house isn’t finished yet!

I just celebrated my 62nd birthday. The gift I gave myself this year was a whole day without judging myself or my actions. I found this to be so much easier said than done: So many rules, so little time!

tell negative committee to shut upWith every decision I made yesterday, I found someone in my brain there to question it. Should I do this or that? In each case I chose exactly what I wanted and ignored the “shoulds.” In this way I became even more conscious of all the rules in my own head. Wow, who knew what a negative committee I had been dealing with my whole life!

Then last night I started thinking about the many well-meaning (but annoying!) friends (and one ex-husband…) who were constantly offering me advice and instruction in how to live my life better.

DO THEY REALLY THINK I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TOXIC ADVICE FROM THE NEGATIVE COMMITTEE IN MY HEAD YET? SURE, POUR IT ON!

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A number of years ago, I was visiting my parents down in Silver City when I saw this dish at an art gallery. I had to buy it, and then displayed it prominently in my living room. Did it work? No. By age 60 I began marking those friends off my list when they turned out to be duds.

Do you really think I haven’t lost weight because you haven’t arrived yet to share your latest tip on taking more walks or eating less? Gee, it might be my fractured ribs, two head injuries, COPD and other lung problems that are making walking at 7,000 feet a bit more challenging for me…

if-you-obey-all-the-rules-you-miss-all-the-fun Katherine Hepburn

Whatever else I might be, I am super smart when it comes to solving my own problems, and I already have plenty of rules in my head that I’m slowly paring down for reasons mentioned above…

Thanks for trying, but I think I may know myself a tad bit better than you, since I just met you!

following the rules

 

When Breath Becomes Air

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“No philosopher can explain the sublime better than this, standing between day and night.”                    (pg. 34 of When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi)

I just finished reading this fine book, the last written words of a top neurosurgeon who died in his mid-thirties of lung cancer in March of 2015. With a recent scary cat scan of my own lungs in January, you may wonder why I chose to read this book now. I wasn’t sure myself until I read it.

First of all, Kalanithi is obviously a deep thinker, always searching for the meaning in life. In fact as I read I realized he had the opposite reaction than most of us when confronted with such a daunting diagnosis. Most become more emotional, he seemed to become more analytical. This was not my response to my own recent confrontation with death. My response was along the lines of: “Am I proud of my life?”

One aspect of Kalnithi’s story rang very true to me, the way my perception of time has changed so much since we left the city behind with all its traffic and deadlines.

“Everyone succumbs to finitude…Most ambitions are either achieved or abandoned; either way, they belong to the past. The future, instead of the ladder toward the goals of life, flattens out into a perpetual present. Money, status, all the vanities the preacher of Ecclesiastes described hold so little interest: a chasing after wind, indeed.” (pg. 198)

We are never so wise as when we live in the moment.

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I am boundlessly grateful to finally understand the pleasure of living in the present.

April Arrives: Welcome to Spring, Boomers!

We had our own private April Fools Joke yesterday morning around here, no power again for 13 hours! Absolutely not funny, but at least we know the drill now…

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We also woke up to half a foot of snow…again! Oh well, all’s well that ends well!

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We have some beautiful snow-capped peaks to look at this morning with a high of around 55 degrees! This is the view from our front door today…

But enough about us, this is the day I share with you some wonderful Boomer blogs written by my virtual friends everywhere!

First off we have Meryl of Six Decades and Counting. Though not a fashion maven who normally ignores fashion fads, this week two news articles caught her attention and triggered some fashion deliberations. Here she ruminates on the topics of jeans and leggings, and the dilemma of whether or not people of a certain age should ever wear this attire. Go read her comments on Fashion Sense and Nonsense: Leggings and Jeans.  

sleep more forget about nonsenseHer final words at left, express her feelings perfectly, from one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, Franz Kafka. This is also a perfect expression of my general feelings about our present century and watching the news! LOL!

Writer Carol Cassara discusses a different topic this week: Can you really sit back and manifest your heart’s desires? Over at Heart Mind Soul, wise woman Carol gives us some useful instruction in what else is necessary to make dreams come true?

March is Taste Washington Wine Month. To celebrate, Rita R. Robison, blogging at The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, decided to go to Taste Washington, a huge gala in Seattle with 235 wineries pouring wines and 65 restaurants offering food this year, the 20th Anniversary of the event.

washington-state wine country map

Robison decided to taste wines from the wineries that she’s personally visited. Among her favorite wineries whose wines she tasted at the event are Airfield Estates, Woodinville; Silver Lake Winery, Zillah; and Tsillan Cellars, Chelan.

And finally, Tom asks: Did you play an April Fool’s prank on someone this past weekend, or have one pulled on you? In Are You Ready? Tom Sightings admits to a good one he fell for a few years ago. But then, you too might have gotten a little nervous in his situation.

EASTER-EGGS1Wishing you the best of Aprils! I know I am going to enjoy it because my birthday is always right around Easter, and I have every intention of celebrating surviving the worst winter of my entire life health-wise!

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A Drive Northwest of La Veta Colorado…

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Since we finally had a sunny day yesterday, we decided to take a drive out west of La Veta. We took off west on Francisco street on the county roads and soon started seeing wild turkey everywhere…

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and amazing rock formations too!

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There were also abandoned cabins.

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As we made our way back up to Highway 160, we saw a different side to Mount Mestas than we’re used to from our home.

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And on our way back to Navajo,

IMGP5892I took a few more photos of the old adobe school house on County Road 510,

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as it continues to tumble down…