Oh the things we can learn when accidents happen. After a lifetime of glorious health, I am now learning how challenging physical disabilities can be. From a healthy 60 year old a few years ago, I have become breathless and often confused. That popular phrase “I can’t breathe!” is a daily reality for me now and these difficulties have led to numerous falls and concussions. I am now working with a pulmonologist and a neurologist for lung disease and post concussion syndrome that causes great dizziness at times.
What does illness and suffering teach us? Compassion for others who suffer. The first time I spoke directly to Mike (my husband of 16 years) after meeting him through Match.com, he told me he suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). At that time I hadn’t the slightest idea what that was or how it might impact our lives. At first he tried to hide some of his symptoms from me, avoiding me when he felt especially bad. It was only later that I learned the crushing cruelty of this at-that-time undiagnosable disease that haunted Mike for decades. He went from a strong 35 year old who could run up mountains, to chronic fatigue that worsened with physical activity, but did not improve with rest, difficulties with memory, focus, concentration and dizziness that worsened with any movement from lying down, sitting or standing. Imagine how depressing that would be for you. And worse, few physicians would believe him. They showed no compassion and would simply say, “You’re just depressed” or “See a psychiatrist.” From this, Mike learned deep compassion for those who suffer with unexplainable illnesses and disabilities. This quote from Gandhi describes Mike’s life perfectly now:
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problem.” – Mahatma Gandhi
One of my favorite sayings has been this for decades:
These are some of the most important lessons we can learn in life, and we are learning them well…
I had an interesting conversation with a neighbor, who hopes to move to his house here in southern Colorado in the next year or so. The kids are all finishing college this year and he and his wife have built a nice “cabin” near us, and far away from his many responsibilities as a business owner back in Kansas.
His patience and understanding provided me with the unique opportunity to change careers. At age 50 I started over as a freelance writer. After 25 years in the library profession, I finally gained enough confidence to believe that I could be a writer. With Mike’s great emotional and financial support I did what I had always wanted to do, but also feared. I could not have done this without Mike’s help.
With love and support we can spend time finding out what it is we really want to try. What did you LOVE as a kid? What did you really want to be doing when you first went to work? You can do those things now. Sure it may not make money, but it could be lots of FUN!
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 