September 22, 2013

An oldie but goodie from three years ago, before all of my major changes really got started! Before we moved down south and built this home…

I am now pushing 60. Looking back, I have found midlife to be the ideal time for self-discovery and personal reinvention.

Most of us have followed the path set out for us by others. What else can we do when we are young and inexperienced? And by age 40 or 50, we know where that leads.

By my mid-40s, I felt professionally secure, but stuck and frustrated, having been a good girl and followed all the rules. These feelings allowed me to finally find the confidence and courage to re-structure my life and create something new and different.  My goal: complete authenticity!

Perhaps, like me, you have experienced some traumatic midlife challenges like divorce, job loss, empty nest, natural disasters or illness, as you watch  your parents struggle with their own aging issues. All of these circumstances combined to cause me to question many of the choices I had made so far.

Did I want to spend the rest of my life this way?

In retrospect I see my various crises as golden opportunities to push me towards more appropriate personal choices. In the midst of my own midlife crisis, I spent months reading, looking inside, journaling, and being painfully honest with my feelings. Gradually I realized the future I saw ahead did not suit me. It was time to re-frame and do everything in a different way, MY WAY!

I used my own inner wisdom/intuition as my primary guide. Aware of the limitations of whatever time I had left on this earth, I worked ceaselessly to find a better path for myself.

Stop censoring yourself. Stop telling yourself you can never have what you truly want.  Find out what that is for you, and then focus like a laser on your deepest desires.

There are indeed do-overs before it is all over!

In the midst of my only run in with unemployment at age 49, I decided that I was determined to have a marvelous, unconditional love relationship with another before I died. Then I did EVERYTHING within my power to make that happen, and it did!

Many have called me ‘lucky.’ I call me courageous, determined and stubborn. I began reinventing my life by first finding true love.

Next my new lover, who believed in me even more than I did, helped me change careers. I had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but ignored that desire because it seemed too crazy and impractical.

This time I was determined to get exactly what I wanted. And I am here to tell you, you can too!

“The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person doing it.”   –  Chinese proverb

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado.  After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home:              A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado          Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books!                             Cheers, Laura Lee  (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)