I had a Petscan a couple of weeks ago and a lung biopsy this past Thursday. Yesterday I learned that they found “no cancer cells.” For those who don’t know, a Petscan helps to identify “hot spots” in your body to check for unusual cell growth and disease. It is much more detailed than a Catscan or MRI. I found the Petscan results quite interesting, but the biopsy was particularly amazing! How can they target a small tumor and then go in and obtain such a microscopic tissue sample?
But I soon realized the more important question is how do I deal with so much more information about what is happening in my body? The technology is outrunning our ability to deal with the results! To tell you the truth, I was more concerned about what treatments might be needed and how they might affect my overall health than having “cancer.” Treatments like chemo or radiation sound scary enough.
I’m glad there are treatments, but none sound real “healthy.” In the past we just wouldn’t know what was happening inside until it was too late. Now we are able to know so much more so much earlier. Then we have to decide how to think and feel about all of this information. It certainly helps me focus much more clearly on my own mortality and I happen to believe that that is a good thing. How do I feel about my life so far? Would it be OK if it ended now?
Adventures of the NEW Old Farts 
First, I am relieved to hear your news. I think the reason cancer (which, to date, I have never been diagnosed with) scares me so much is the treatment and how it can be so unpredictable. I have never 100% had to face my own mortality – only indirectly, through loved ones and friends. But I know my day will come, sooner or later. Intellectually, that is.
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Yes Alana, the reality of facing a bad outcome is quite different than thinking about it in abstract. I figure it’s best to face the fact of eventual death rather than pretend it isn’t going to happen to me. It happens to us all no matter how much we deny or pretend.
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Oops, I thought I had left a response.
Four years ago I was just beginning to investigate a lump. It did turn out to be cancer. I’d caught it early, I had a fantastic medical team, and I got to choose a less awful form of chemo – but it was still not fun and a gigantic hassle.
I’m SO glad you aren’t getting ready to go through that.
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I’m overjoyed for you at your good news because I know what it feels like to hear the words, “You have cancer,” and then go through treatment. The hardest part is resuming your life when it’s behind you… Finding your new normal. In two days I have my annual mammogram, and as always, am a bit fearful.
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Thanks Brenda and thanks for reading this too! Yes, mammograms scare me too, plus I have already had three biopsies on that part. Now I find some comfort in knowing what is happening inside of me instead of, like most, not knowing anything until it’s too late to do anything!
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