Holding a vision

The Wheel of Time is Exceptional!

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment

I entered a completely new landscape in the past few days, a land where women are incredibly powerful and racism does not exist. This land exists in the new series “The Wheel of Time” on Amazon Prime. I should preface this by telling you I never enjoyed fantasy before this. I walked out of the first “Lord of the Rings” movie because I found it all so male and predictable. The “Wheel of Time” is a series of high fantasy novels by American author Robert Jordan and spans 14 volumes. The first volume “The Eye of the World”, was published in January 1990.

This high fantasy has many characters all on a quest to save their world from “the Dark One.” Set in an alternative world very unlike ours, the main characters are dynamic, compelling women who wield amazing and unpredictable powers. Filled with subtlety and rituals, I found this story to be the opposite of most fantasies in that nothing was easily predictable about their quest. First of all, the women were the wise ones and leaders in this world. They held most of the power, unlike human traditional society for the past few centuries. I found it entertaining how sexist I could be in my own mind when the women took charge and ruled the world of The Light. The characters dealt with dilemmas like women needing to mask their power in the past and how they might show no shame when they embrace their power now.

I also enjoyed the way both European and Asian mythologies are displayed, most notably the cyclical nature of time found in Buddhism and Hinduism, and the characters’ respect for nature found in Taoism. The metaphysical concepts of balance and duality are well displayed as well as a creation story where the creator is Light, not the Lord, and the “Dark One” wishes to destroy human life on earth.

I found the casting amazing in that all cultures, skin colors, and languages of people were expressed. It seemed there were no “races” in this world. They also seemed to make a point of not selecting the most beautiful or attractive for the lead roles, all were represented like life itself. So much about the casting was the opposite of traditional Hollywood practices and it struck me how surprised I was with that. I LOVED IT!

The other thing I loved was how much I learned from the characters, both men and women as I watched. For example, there is a group of travelers called “The Way of the Leaf.” They are totally non-violent and their wise woman Ila explains why. At one point in the past Ila’s daughter was killed “for sport” and she wanted revenge! Then she discovered:

“What greater revenge against violence than peace? What greater revenge against death than life? If I can change two peoples’ minds I’ve left the world better than I found it.”

The Wheel of Time created a geologically-interesting, beautifully appointed imaginary world to live in for a while with magic, subtlety and ritual, all things I was encouraged to abhor as a child. Most imaginary worlds have the same basic rules as our present world for me. They just seem too predictable. Not that portrayed in “The Wheel of Time.” I was left guessing the whole time and I loved that.

The Pros and Cons of Writing an Autobiography

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

“Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself : ‘How alive am I willing to be?’” – Anne Lamott

Whether to create an autobiography is my latest writing dilemma. I go back and forth almost every day. I kept a journal from Junior High School on, so I certainly have the material to work with. I also have lots of pictures from my past. Don’t get me wrong. My goal is not to punish anyone. I just want to write something that some might enjoy reading some day.

PROS

I certainly don’t want to get stuck in my past, but on the other hand, wouldn’t it be interesting to see where my mind was at in 9th grade? In college? In my 30s in comparison to my 60s? As a psychologist I would love to study my own transition from my early beliefs as a naive youngster to what I now like to call older and much wiser. Perhaps a study of how a liberated woman’s mind developed, starting in the mid-1950s.

I like to believe my life had meaning. One way to pass on that meaning is to write about it. As a member of the transitional, mid-Baby Boomer generation, from the conservative, sexist 1940s and 50s, to the 60s, 70s and beyond, I wish to acknowledge how much our country changed especially in terms of women’s lives and roles. I lived a non-traditional life of first building a career and delaying marriage. I chose not to have children, choosing instead to get to fully know myself before I brought anyone else into my life.

I lived most of my adult life working and single, enjoying the freedom that brings. I experienced a divorce (at age 45), which at least half of Baby Boomers have been through. I also spent a few years studying the trends in Baby Boomers in my 50s, and then wrote a book about them.

I have a graduate degree in psychology and studied midlife love for a few years after my divorce. I also opened my own version of a dating service in the early 2000s. That’s how I met husband number two, while trolling for matches for my women clients… My second book tells this story: How to Believe In Love Again.

I feel I have lots to share with other Baby Boomers and their children and grandchildren, eventually!

CONS:

What a lot of work! Do I have the stamina at this late date?

I certainly don’t want to get stuck in my past. As far as I’m concerned, I have already spent too much time thinking about what happened ‘back then.’ It seems to be one of my obsessions, and yet I do appreciate all the enticing memories I have from so many trips abroad and a few great love affairs. (You know who you were!) I find my trips down memory lane to be fantastic entertainment for when I’m sick and stuck in bed for days… It just seems like this is the right time to set the record straight in my own mind (before I lose it…LOL!)

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

And then there’s the whole question of seeing the past honestly and calling an asshole an asshole. On that topic I’m afraid I agree with my hero,

Anne Lamott: “Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

As Anne says, acknowledging and telling our truth is what aging is all about!

“But you can’t get to any of these truths by sitting in a field smiling beatifically, avoiding your anger and damage and grief. Your anger and damage and grief are the way to the truth. We don’t have much truth to express unless we have gone into those rooms and closets and woods and abysses that we were told not go in to. When we have gone in and looked around for a long while, just breathing and finally taking it in – then we will be able to speak in our own voice and to stay in the present moment. And that moment is home.” – Anne Lamott

What does the censorship of history accomplish?

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment

Of course I must put my two cents in about those who wish to censor certain school library books, partially so we cannot recognize and acknowledge what happened in our past. I was an academic librarian for twenty-five years, most of which did not include censoring our history.

This is one area where history and psychology agree:

“Those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it!”

In counseling we learn that the first step to any type of change or healing process begins with awareness of our past. If we cannot acknowledge what happened to us, we can never change its traumatic effects or how we now perceive it. How can you change that which you do not even recognize as true? Knowing and feeling your past can be so liberating!

You cannot change what you do not even know about.

Denying our history is not the answer. Historically we have certainly done a decent job of downplaying the slaughter of most Native Americans and their culture, not to mention “normalizing” the practice of kidnapping native Africans and enslaving them. When fully witnessed and acknowledged, our history holds much to be ashamed of. The only solution to this terrible record as a nation is to tell the truth about these travesties and then seek some kind of healing.

As Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. on the PBS show “Finding Your Roots” states, we should not feel guilty for the sins of our ancestors. We had no part in the choices they made or the societal pressures put upon them. But if we search out and now know the truth in our history, we can then move forward with a knowledge and understanding of how we should act today and every day in our future.

In addition, I must scoff at those idiots who criticize a decision to choose a non-European-American female for our next Supreme Court Justice. For well over two centuries we all knew that the President would nominate a European-American male for the post. The dominant culture made sure of that. And now these idiots feel threatened by one African-American woman on the Court…. GROW UP!

Postscript: When they tried to ban sex education in Utah when I lived there in the 1980s, we used to say: “If ignorance is bliss than Utah is utopia!” Nah, kids will never figure out what sex is if you don’t tell them…

Our perspective on our present and future

/ Laura Lee Carter / 2 Comments

I just realized this past week my new life theme: “Quit trying so hard!” After struggling my whole life for more, I find great relief in simple contentment, my own version of living in the present.

Acceptance releases everything to be what it already is!

If you pay attention to the messages from our culture, you find a constant barrage of: You can do better. You SHOULD be better. The sky is the limit. No matter what your age, do more! To that I say, why? Yes, I understand why younger folks might benefit from hearing that theme, but get real. With my lung and brain limitations, this is as good as it gets, and I would like to feel good about that.

Another theme I hear all around me these day is the comfort so many of my friends find in their families, especially their grandkids. That is wonderful for them. Mike and I have never been big on family and neither one of us were into kids. Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw in Denver ages ago: “Thank you for not breeding.” I remember thinking, “Wow, nobody ever thanked me before!”

Mike and I have been environmentalists forever. We believe in building native gardens and solar homes, using fewer natural resources and living a simple life. We find daily meaning and satisfaction living close to nature and we each have our own ongoing creative projects.

The one desire that keeps coming up for me, is a strong ‘need’ to spend some time on a beach somewhere near the ocean before I die. I have spent a few of my most glorious days on earth on the beaches of Cane Garden Bay, Tortola (BVI), on the Kona Coast of Hawaii and at Pattaya in southern Thailand back in the 1970s. So I say, take me away now to any isolated, beautiful beach! I have some purely intuitive urge to go back to where we all came from.

Thank you readers!

/ Laura Lee Carter / 7 Comments

As one more year slips away, I wish to thank all of you who come by here occasionally to see what’s happening in Mike and I’s life. I know we are not action-packed, just 65+ers surviving day by day…

You may sometimes wonder why I write here. The best reason I can think of is to keep myself going. As most of you know, I have been slammed with health problems in the past few years, and the truth is, I don’t know how much longer I can keep writing, but it gives me meaning every time I do it. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother. Don’t worry, I am NOT trying to be an ‘influencer’ here.

In return for your loyalty, I will share a few of my favorite T-shirt sayings I have seen lately. I don’t wear T-shirts, but if I did, these are the ones I’d choose. Perhaps you can relate to a few of them:

From years of living alone:

Sometimes I talk to myself, then we both laugh & laugh!

A Rasta Special:

All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing.

From the therapist in me:

Keep talking. I’m diagnosing you.

From the writer in me:

I’m silently correcting your grammar… (And also noticing all misspelling everywhere!)

From the analysis paralysis in me:

Hold on. Let me OVERTHINK this…

And my favorite doormat:

Come in. We are awesome!

Aren’t we all a little lost in ‘Nomadland’?

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

I know, I get the movies a lot later than most of you. I borrow them from La Veta Public Library, such a lovely, friendly place, where everyone knows my name 🙂 It’s so much more personal than streaming…

In the first few minutes of watching the film ‘Nomadland’ I thought about my brother John, who was homeless until about a year ago when we helped him find a home in Walsenburg. I thought, here we go, this is going to really make me appreciate the fact that I have a lovely solar home on a ridge overlooking the Spanish Peaks and the Sangre de Cristo range, and yes, it certainly did that. But as I got deeper into the daily life and choices of Fern, the roaming nomad in this film, I understood the metaphor presented for all of us to relate to. Questions like: Do we need to work to feel adequate? Do we look down on the nomads we meet and should we? What about all the homeless in towns like Walsenburg whom we see sleeping in doorways and down by the river? What about them?

Nomadland was unique in some ways because all of the characters were mobile, moving from place to place for jobs, or help from others, or whatever suited them. The freedom of being mobile was important to who they were. They also found great fellowship with other nomads by camping together for long periods of time. Not everybody wants to be alone all the time, or around others much of the time. I got their lifestyle and their choices. I loved the honesty with which these folks spoke of end of life choices like choosing not to die in a hospital, and their own celebrations of life when one of their members died.

Many of them were depressed and why not? How many of us wonder everyday about our world and where it’s headed? Past a certain age, loss is a major factor for all of us. Loss of abilities, health, independence, loved ones, stability and sanity. The characters here deal with all of that day to day in an honest way, like we all must to some extent.

Pretending that life will not change or that this will not end soon is hopeless. We may all be lost in our own version of ‘nomadland’ and this film might help you accept that.