The hidden purpose of my new memoir: Convincing your pardner to love rural!

I decided to write a memoir of the process Mike and I went through around age 60, as we were going through it. I thought, we can’t be the only ones thinking about leaving city life behind for retirement, hoping to find a quiet, peaceful sustainable life in some beautiful rural area.

horsetooth in summer

Horsetooth Reservoir up above Fort Collins, Colorado!

As we put this plan into action and bought three acres west of Walsenburg to build our passive solar home at the beginning of 2014, I discovered that Mike was MUCH MORE CERTAIN than I was about this whole plan! He felt certain that he wanted to leave the city behind regardless of our old friendships back in Fort Collins, and the services and predictability of city life. This plan was suddenly coming together far faster than I could assimilate! I knew I loved visiting down south, but was I ready to give up everything I knew to move there?

320 w. 2nd St. Walsenburg July 2014

Walsenburg rental we lived in while building our home west of here

After we moved into our rental for the building process, I learned that many wives felt the same way initially about pulling up their roots and going completely rural. The men seemed to know what they wanted, but the women were more careful or hesitant to move to a rural area. Much like I felt at first that our new homestead was rather “isolated” other women I met felt the same. Luckily I totally trusted Mike’s sense of place and his unique abilities to make this home the best of my entire life.

But I just realized yesterday that my memoir is especially suited for wives or partners who want to move somewhere wild and rural, to show them the process I went through. I certainly changed my mind as the building went on…

At first I was so scared and uncertain of this choice we were making, mainly because we needed to sell our suburban home to afford the construction of our new solar home. There was really no way to go back on this deal if I ended up not liking it! It did feel really risky to me, but not to Mike.

morning sun on comanche drive

Our new home at sunrise!

I found that very quickly after we moved into our new home about one year after moving to Walsenburg, I loved it here. The silence, the natural beauty, the amazing sunrises and the big sky feeling… what’s not to love about that?

It just took me a while to adjust my vision and expectations and QUIT WORRYING SO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING!

So, for any of you who want to convince your pardner to move to a more rural part of the country. This book might really help!

Why we moved to the country to retire

For some reason this spring I keep flashing back to four years ago when we were still living in suburbia in Fort Collins and preparing to move down here to build our solar home…

memoir of retirement 2016

Here’s an excerpt from my Memoir of Retirement:

I saw a stupid retirement TV commercial last night that really got me thinking. The question was:

Can you keep your lifestyle in retirement?  

Say what? It suddenly struck me that this may be the most important difference between those of us facing retirement in the next few years. I for one have NO intention of keeping this lifestyle. If we did, what would be the point of retirement?

My dream retirement involves escaping this lifestyle! I feel that I have become ‘metro-fied,’ and I’m now more than ready for a peaceful escape from my present lifestyle.

I have lived in metropolitan areas for most of my adult life, for access to good jobs. What I have observed is ever increasing crowding, pollution, traffic and aggressive behavior.

beginning to build on the slab comanche drive

Construction begins on our new solar home facing the Spanish Peaks!

What I now long for is a quieter more peaceful existence with just a few people per square mile, where we can enjoy a friendly, caring sense of community; a place where we can make new friends through our daily lives.

We know and accept that this will involve a major lifestyle change, and we are ready for that. No traffic sounds great to us in exchange for less shopping convenience. Valuing and having time for new relationships is what we seek, not more of the same overcrowding, air pollution and road rage.

As I sit in the constant traffic in Fort Collins or Denver these days, I can only think, “This is never going to get better!” People will continue moving here and traffic will keep increasing every year, and I do not want to spend one more precious moment of my life sitting in traffic.

We want out of this lifestyle, the sooner the better!

Postscript four years later:  I WAS SO RIGHT ABOUT THIS!

 

Movie Love: Oscars 2018

old film cameraThe Oscars did not disappoint last night. Even though I live in such a rural area that I still haven’t had a chance to see any of the films discussed last night, I still enjoyed the pageantry and political points made. Why? Because I love the genre of film. After almost 60 years of going to movies, I love the escapism offered more than ever! Dissolving into a totally different world for a few hours where my problems don’t count and others face much bigger dilemmas, that is magic!

Now more than ever I see why certain films feed my imagination and make life seem good.

moulin rougeJust this week I saw “Moulin Rouge!” for the fifth time and realized immediately why it speaks to me. The story is that of a writer writing about love, one of my favorite topics. The setting is so foreign and yet fascinating to me, and the heroine has tuberculosis so she cannot breathe, something I struggle with daily. And the music! And Ewan McGregor! Don’t get me started…

I see now I have a true fascination with the late 1800s/early 1900s, the gilded age. I happened to see “Victoria & Abdul” this week too. What a wonderfully honest film about the racism and absurdities of British court life. Court life viewed through the eyes of a couple of Indian clerks is fantastic, and of course Judi Dench is divine in this role! Don’t miss it!

There are truly so many films since childhood that have educated me while improving my life experience. Has anyone out there seen “A Thousand Clowns” from 1965? What amazing writing and acting! It feels more like watching a play, and with characters like Jason Robard playing his unique anti-establishment role? Marvelous!

“Oh my God, I’ve been attacked by the Ladies’s Home Journal!”

There was one great line in the Oscar show last night that really stuck with me:

Film: A machine that allows us to experience empathy… So true!

Medical Cannabis, Seizures & Colorado Research

CBD oil what is itOne thing that continues to increase, since we moved to southern Colorado, is the number of families who move here to be able to properly medicate their children who suffer from severe seizures. Imagine having to make the choice between a good job and the health of your child. That is what our government is asking from these parents. Some move down here because it is so inexpensive to rent or buy a home here, compared to the cities up north.

I have to admire Alexis Bortell, a 12-year-old girl who is spearheading a campaign to legalize medical cannabis across our country. She and her family had no choice but to move from Texas to Colorado to find adequate treatment for her severe epilepsy. Now, her family and a handful of others are suing Attorney General Jeff Sessions and the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), demanding “cannabis for the treatment of their illnesses, diseases and medical conditions.” Ever since Alexis began her cannabis treatment, she has been seizure-free for 974 days.

Data from the Epilepsy Foundation:

Does cannabis help seizures?

Evidence from laboratory studies, anecdotal reports, and small clinical studies from a number of years ago suggest that cannabidiol, a non-psychoactive compound of cannabis, could potentially be helpful in controlling seizures. Conducting studies can be difficult as researchers have limited access to marijuana due to federal regulations and even more limited access to cannabidiol; there are also increased financial and time constraints.

Cannabidiol (CBD)

Open-label studies in the U.S. of Epidiolex (a drug derived from cannabidiol or CBD) are being performed. Epidiolex is a purified, 99% oil-based CBD extract from the cannabis plant and is produced by GW Pharmaceuticals to give known and consistent amounts in each dose. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has given some epilepsy centers permission to use this drug as “compassionate use” for a limited number of people at each center.

Recently, gold-standard studies (double-blind, placebo-controlled studies) have finished for difficult epilepsies such as Lennox-Gastaut syndrome (LGS) in children and adults and Dravet syndrome in children. Information from these studies has been presented at major scientific meetings and in press releases by GW Pharmaceuticals.

Results from 214 people who received Epidiolex (99% CBD) in an open-label study (without a placebo control) and who completed 12 weeks or more on the drug were published in Lancet Neurology.

Enter Sangre AgroTech

The most exciting development for Huerfano County, our “orphan” county with around 6,000 souls, has been in the tiny town of La Veta Colorado.  WEED, Inc. announced this past July, that it recently acquired Sangre AT, LLC (dba “Sangre AgroTech”), with plans to open a Sangre Bioscience Center, investing over $1,000,000 into the Colorado Medicinal Cannabis Industry.

Sangre AgroTech then chose La Veta for their new research facility whose mission is:   “To create a genomics-based Cannabis breeding program that will produce new, genetically-enhanced strains of Cannabis which express the desired plant characteristics for the treatment of disease…”

“At Sangre AgroTech, we are focused on the development and application of cannabis-derived compounds for the treatment of human disease. Targeting cannabis-derived molecules which stimulate the endocannabinoid system, we are developing the required scientifically-valid and evidence-based cannabis strains for the production of disease-specific medicines. Yes, medicines.” 

ALL KINDS of BOOMER LOVE for YOU!

clearer when in loveIsn’t Valentine’s Day crazy? Talk about a great gimmick to sell crap. I so dislike the way capitalism turns everything and everyone into a commodity to be manipulated, but this isn’t about that at all! This is about what a great idea it was to create a holiday totally based on LOVE. I think we should celebrate love every single day. After all, without love, where would we be?

So let’s start out with a post about LOVE from Carol Cassara: Love gives our lives meaning, whether we have a mate or not. That’s why I like to think of Valentine’s Day as covering love of all kinds, including maternal, filial, love we have for friends–the whole gamut.”

Sue from Australia says: At Valentine’s Day our thoughts turn to love and especially the love of a partner. But Sue Loncaric from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond wants to talk about a more important kind of love – Self-Love: The ability to appreciate who we are and love that person fiercely. Go see why we need to love and value yourself first, before expecting others to feel that way about you.

Happy V Day

After being divorced for several years, Jennifer, over at Unfold and Begin, knew it was time to wade back into the dating pool. She decided that online dating was the way to go. Here she shares her experience and guidance: Yes, It’s possible To Meet The Love Of Your Life Online.

For many, Valentine’s Day conjures up images of flowers, chocolate, hearts and often young love. But Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting instead chooses to peek into the lives of a married couple who have spent years of Valentine’s Days together the “Old Folks Way,” an oldie but goodie posted Valentine’s Day 2012.

Rebecca Olkowski of BabyBoomster.com says: Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day especially if you aren’t in a relationship. But, there is a solution. Rebecca suggests planning a Galentine’s Day with your girlfriends. Friends who are always there to support you.

old Charleston graveTom isn’t so sure he can fit his writings into our LOVE theme this week. He just knows he loves to visit Charleston in the winter. Tom Sightings, like many retirees, typically turns February into an extended snowbird trip to a warmer climate. This week in Sightings of Charleston he posts pictures of the historical city and asks for your feedback on a photo project he’s doing for his learning-in-retirement class.

And finally, Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, wants to teach you a bit about Valentine’s Day economics, or what she calls “the cost of love.” U.S. consumers are expected to spend an average $143.56 on Valentine’s Day an increase from last year’s $136.57. Total spending is expected to reach $19.6 billion, up from $18.2 billion last year. The numbers are the second-highest in 15 years, topped only by the record $146.84 and $19.7 billion in 2016.

LOVE in LaLaLand

I just want to remind you all what real, mature, durable, sustainable boomer love is all about! I’m living it everyday and so I can assure you: All You Need is Love!

 

 

Love: The Only Why

So here we are facing Valentine’s Day again, a Hallmark holiday whose origins, much like Halloween, are rooted in pagan partying. This lovers’ holiday traces its roots to raucous annual Roman festivals where men stripped naked, grabbed goat or dog skin whips, and spanked young maidens in hopes of increasing their fertility, so says classics professor Noel Lenski at University of Colorado, Boulder. What do pagan parties have to do with love? Nothing.

After being abused in most of my early relationships and spending most of my adult life without any idea what love feels like, I spent some serious time after my divorce around age 49, studying love and how I had missed out on it so completely.

How had I lost my ability to trust anyone else? Did I want to spend the rest of my life that way? Time was up for me. It was time to decide. Would I ever believe in love again?

I was quite lucky. After decades of struggle, study, and contemplation I finally met someone who was worthy of my love. Of course I didn’t know that at first. In my case I felt certain of his love whenever I was around him, but completely uncertain when I wasn’t. It took me a long time to truly trust him with my heart, but he has always been patient and loving around my trust issues.

For us it was a life and death struggle in a world full of complete nonsense. He had a chronic illness which had challenged his will to live for decades. I had lost my will to live after so many decades of disappointment with the human race. He wanted to find new reasons to live, and he wanted to help me find new sources of joy.

snowy west peak with comanche home in foreground

We decided to make life great again TOGETHER…

From this I have learned that when you struggle together against great odds, you can build a powerful, trusting relationship, and you will never be the same after sharing struggles like this. Fifteen years later we still face many daily challenges, and we know we will face them together until the end.

How to believe in love again, by Laura Lee Carter, M.A. Transpersonal Counseling Psychology

how-to-believe-in-love-again-between-tiny-and-blog-size

Most of us start out believing that love can transform our lonely lives into something better. When that doesn’t work out as hoped for or planned, do we dare dream again? After 25 years, I lost my job back in 2004.  I was 49, divorced with no kids. With five months warning, I watched the career I had counted on for decades for my bread and butter disappear before my very eyes.

Totally focused on “What’s next?”, the rational, practical side of my brain told me to go get another job doing exactly what I had always done, but my inner wisdom begged to differ.  It kept prodding me to open my own non-Internet-based matchmaking service. Eventually I agreed. I figured, what did I have to lose? I needed a date and a job.

Little did I know that this new business would unconsciously nudge me towards an even more profound use of my intuition and inner wisdom to guide me towards a rejuvenated approach to love and life…