Loss of a beloved pet

Meanwhile, back at Sky Garden Ranch…

/ Laura Lee Carter / Leave a comment
So, after the worst year of my life (by far!), I have some good news to share!

You may remember we lost our Rasta Temple Dog last July after 14 wonderful years of puppy love. That was the harbinger of a very BAD year to come. Mike had two serious surgeries, my brother went into hospice, and my Mom died this past March. I have also been sick a lot, but on Monday I said to Mike I might be ready to get a new dog after I feel better. By Tuesday we had contacted a puppy rescue around here. We picked up Annie on Wednesday.

Annie is a very sweet five year old who has been abused by a puppy mill in Missouri, so as you might guess, she is as meek and timid as she can possibly be. When you put her down she just sits there, not moving around or exploring anything. She didn’t even drink water or eat anything for over 24 hours after we got her. I now understand this is not unusual for a rescue dog.

With Mike and I’s tender loving care, she is now coming in through her dog door and slowly checking out her new home. Still not enough courage to go out the dog door. We have to be so patient with her. She was super tired when she got here. She slept for a couple days. She has been vigilant her whole life and must now learn how to trust someone. No easy feat teaching her to trust in us, but we are up to the challenge!

Where does my grief belong? Private vs. Public

/ Laura Lee Carter / 1 Comment

My sister and I have been dealing with this question for the past few years, as our father died and then our mother and brother’s health continued to fail. In addition, we have both lost companion animals this past year. Is it better to share with others your inner feelings which are dominating your time and energy, or is it best to keep quiet?

In a world where most feelings are now allowed to be shared with those around you, those who supposedly care about you, when someone asks how you are, is it OK to say:

“Well my mom is despondent since she broke her hip and had to be moved to a nursing home, my brother just entered hospice care, and my husband suffers greatly from the major surgery he had this month. Did I mention that my dog died in my arms in July?”

Mostly my sister and I cry together on the phone and then go on. She tells me about how it breaks her heart to watch our Mom’s health and will to live fail. I tell her about our brother’s lonely, sad existence as his lungs and brain fail him. Throw in nearly a month at a hospital two hours north of here for Mike’s surgery, and you will see the sum total of our pain and grief.

Our family Christmas 2021

I know most will say, at least you still have your sister to talk to, and that is such a blessing, but Diane and I can’t help but feel that others don’t want to be brought down by our family’s grief. So many people just cannot handle the pain and grief of others. I have witnessed this personally. Everyone will have their own time of great grief, no matter how hard they try to deny it.

Having someone special to share your grief really does help…

The Loss of a Precious Pet

/ Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments
Rasta was my Christmas present in 2008…what a cutie pup!

We lost our precious Rasta pup this week. After a couple of weeks of trying to avoid reality, we found we had to accept that his quality of life had taken a brutal turn for the worse, with the loss of his other eye to glaucoma and a stroke. He was 14 and a half and had one of the best lives a pet could have. He was loved and appreciated his whole life.

“The cutest puppy in the history of the world!” to quote our friend Rad

I have not had much direct experience with death in my life. Yes, I have avoided it, I must admit. Mike didn’t have that luxury as his beloved mother died at an early age. There has been a touch of non-reality to death in my life, even though I have lost pets before. Unfortunately, Mike had to deal with the actual physical body for us. Our vet comes out to your car and puts your pet to sleep in your arms. I will never forget the shot to his heart. Then Mike prepared him for burial and buried him on our land, in a place that is not physically accessible for me.

Here are a few personal observations about loss and grieving from my perspective:

There is a certain non-reality to death. They were here and now they’re just gone.

I feel extreme sadness and yet I know that Rasta is better off not suffering anymore.

We removed the obvious reminders of his life around us and yet I still look for him constantly, miss his greeting when I come into our home, save delicious leftovers for him, and talk to him. I can’t get out much anymore. He was my constant companion.

There are so many TV commercials for pet food, etc. making it abundantly clear that pets have become our new version of children…

We should not make any comparisons about how we each suffer loss and grieve. Everyone feels pain and loss differently and it can bring up difficult previous memories of loss and pain. We all grieve in our own way.

This kind of pain leaves me searching for any type of escape or distraction from the loss. Just to forget this loss temporarily feels like a blessing.

Goodbye Rasta. Rest in Peace. We loved you so very much!