NEW Old Farts
It has now been over a month since I cut way back on my Paxil prescription. I’m below 5 mgs. and feeling great. I have seen a few gigantic changes so far, the best one being I feel so much more like my old self, lighthearted and more energetic. I have also started losing weight. I did not know these drugs could impact so many aspects of mind & body.
Why write?
Today I celebrate reaching over 50,000 views on this blog, with over 24,000 visitors!
This is my second major blog. My first, Midlife Crisis Queen, racked up hundreds of thousands of loyal followers from all over the world in its eight years of existence. However, I did not stay in crisis for long. Soon after I realized it was up to me to wield my own power in transforming myself and my life, I quickly moved from chaos and crisis, discovering an amazing array of new opportunities, not previously identified. My books are a summary of how I changed everything in my world.
The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe and how you see the world…
But, as most of my sister writers know, it isn’t easy to believe in yourself and your craft, when we so rarely hear back from our readers. Blogging and book selling has become so impersonal these days. The evil empire, Amazon, basically owns our business. We often sell books and never know what our readers think of them. I have found that to be so frustrating through the years!
Most do not relate to the experience of writing first blog posts and then books for over ten years, and so rarely hearing anything back. Yes, I love what I do and I would do it no matter what, but the occasional “your book changed my life!” soothes my soul. That is why I cried when I received the most fantastic fan letter this week. He started out by ordering my new memoir, and loved it so much, he then ordered my other books.
My 2011 book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife inspired him to write me a long letter about how that book changed his life. Here’s an excerpt:
“For the first time in literally decades, I finally found an author who really “speaks” to the core of who I am as a person; who I not only identify with, but who I strongly identify with. Beginning with your need to flee Fort Collins’ frantic “retirement haven” pace to your craving for silence…YES! Me too! Before I even finished “From Suburbia…”, I was online ordering your other 3 books. “Find Your Reason To Be Here” was a HUGE wake up call to me. I’ve found it to be far, far more helpful and truthful than ANY of the other books I’ve read that purport to help one find one’s purpose in life. Thank you!”
“We read to know we are not alone.” — C. S. Lewis
This man has read most contemporary titles on midlife and finding your life’s purpose, and he found my book to be more useful than those by Marianne Williamson and other famous writers.
He now likes to hand my books out to friends and family who are suffering from midlife angst, which brings me to the true reason for his letter. He wanted to order more copies directly from me. This is how I prefer to sell books now, to people I might be able to build relationships with, instead of impersonal internet sales. I think it is good for readers to know that there is a genuine human being behind every line in my blog posts or books, one who would love to know if their writing is impacting your life.
So the next time you read something that moves you, why not send the author a note letting them know that their efforts have made a real difference in your world?
Any interest in learning more about midlife change, or purchasing my books? I’d love to hear from you! Please drop me a line at: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com
Papa, Hemingway in Cuba — A Review
If you are a writer, do not miss the new film “Papa – Hemingway in Cuba.” This is the true story of how writer Denne Petitclerc spent time with Hemingway near the end of his life. The story begins in the late 1950s, when Petitclerc, a young Miami Globe journalist, writes Hemingway a fan letter, assuming nothing will come of it. Instead, the legend invites him to go fishing, has him over for drinks, and then says, “We’ll be your family, kid.”
In the midst of the Cuban Revolution, Hemingway advises our young reporter on his writing, while Petitclerc continues to report back to his paper on the revolution itself. I did not know until after viewing this film twice, that Petitclerc wrote the screenplay for it. He had begun work on film production at the time of his death in 2006. This is the first major movie to be filmed in Cuba since the 1959 revolution.
As Petitclerc slowly enters into Hemingway’s turbulent personal life, he finds a world of anger and anguish. At that point in his life, Hemingway’s disappointments with writer’s block, impotence and the demons that haunted him from his past, lead to explosive alcoholic tirades, including continual suicide threats. Petitclerc soon sees how ‘Papa’ and Mary have a love/hate relationship, often putting him in the middle. He observes all this, and yet he enjoys building relationships with them, especially Mary, coming to appreciate the challenges she faces daily for being close with a legendary figure.
The greatest surprise for me, after enjoying the depth and excellence of this film, were the many negative reviews. I assume many viewers hated to see their favorite writer reduced to a common, raging alcoholic. But from all reports, that is exactly how he spent the last years of his life. He killed himself 18 months after this film ended at age 61. There is so much here for a writer to enjoy! If you listen carefully, you will be rewarded with many great lines of dialogue. For example: Two men talking about marriage at a bar at the beginning of this film: “The things we put up with for that micro-second of ecstasy.” I could also relate to the young writer’s plight, his desire to become a “real” writer, like when he announces to Hemingway and his friends that he finally sold his first story. I remember that feeling so well, back in 2006. It somehow seemed incredible to get paid just for my creativity in words.
This film is so well-written, well-paced and intellectually challenging. It successfully chronicles the highs and lows of a young writer’s impressions, while hanging with Ernest Hemingway near the end of his life. Fascinating!
Please note: Any films I see are available through the La Veta Public Library!
I disagree with every review I have read. See this film, you will not be disappointed.
The Elephant in the Room: The Vietnam War
“Military madness is killing our country, solitary sadness comes over me…”
It seems impossible not to discuss “the war” that helped to shape our lives at this time. The amazing new PBS documentary put together by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick is impacting me now, and the war it represents is still present in the hearts and minds of those of us who experienced it either on TV or directly, in our own lives.
The curious thing is how we ended up making this war about us, when it was always about the people of a tiny country in southeast Asia.
Last night was about 1965, when we first started sending in troops, not just advisers. I had no idea that the Vietnamese came out to welcome the first American troops to land there. Young Vietnamese girls in white dresses came with welcome signs, food and flowers.
One American who was there, noted what a beautiful and ideal country they saw when they landed. I have some idea what he means. I lived in Thailand near the end of the Vietnam War. I agree.
This documentary provides much background information and detail into how this terrible war came about as a result of a century of Western colonialism in southeast Asia. The French dragged us into it, and we stayed. Most Americans don’t know these facts. I studied Asia in college, so I am quite familiar with this history. I loved the part last night about Eric Sevareid’s first honest report back to us through the evening news, documenting what American troops were experiencing daily there. LBJ called the president of CBS the next day and said, “Are you trying to fuck me?”
The dishonesty of our government is appalling even today. Oh sure, let’s send in thousands of young Americans to fight a war over 8,000 miles away, but let’s not tell the American public. Once we became involved in fighting there, the number of dead from each battle included both Vietnamese and American numbers, but we did not care how many Vietnamese had died, only Americans.
I do not blame anyone who chooses not to view this documentary at this time. It brings up overwhelming sadness and many tears for me. I was born in 1955, so “the war” only became a part of my daily awareness when I was ten or so, after the assassination of JFK. In my family, we were required to watch the evening news, and then discuss world affairs at the dinner table every evening.
It was only after the “wise old men” in LBJ’s world decided to start sending thousands of young Americans to a war 8,600 miles away that Vietnam truly entered my consciousness.
Besides the evening news reports with Walter Cronkite, my most powerful memories are of the Kent State shootings and the Democratic Convention protests in 1968. I remember watching tears roll down my Dad’s face as we watched the protesters get severely beating by Mayor Daley’s thugs. Yes, there was violence on both sides, but the police had all the weapons and they used them too!
The first time I ever protested anything was by wearing a black arm band to a junior high band concert after the Kent State shootings. I felt so conspicuous and yet I’m sure nobody else noticed. Mike was in the Navy at the end of our involvement in Vietnam. He chooses not to watch this special and I respect that. One of his best friends, who he has known for over 30 years now, was a medic in Vietnam. He definitely saw the worst of it. That war ruined the rest of his life in a number of ways, both with a broken back and severe PTSD.
What can we say now about a war most of us did not want, that destroyed the lives of many thousands of Americans, both those who fought and died, and those who loved them? This war challenged deeply my trust in our government, and by watching this timely documentary now, I learned even more about what I didn’t know about the war in Vietnam. This makes me wonder what else I don’t know about what is happening right now in our world.
“War, what a lousy way to settle politics. And the faces of the dead are all the same, just fucking kids!” — Ernest Hemingway
Boomers discuss the power of NOW!
One of the things I love about bringing together current posts from a few popular boomer blogs, is their occasional synchronicity of thought. From the apparently mundane, to the future of our world, we are certainly still giving lots of thought to the circumstances we find ourselves in in our 60s.
One challenge we face is keeping our brains working well, at least most of the time! We have known for years that games can help to keep our brain active. Now Carol Cassara directs us towards online games and these games aren’t just for the young. Many Boomers enjoy them, but who knew online games have brain benefits?
GROWING PLANTS INSIDE AND OUT GIVES MY LIFE MEANING!
We had two posts this week about one of my favorite pastimes, gardening. What could be more positive and gratifying than helping plants grow inside and out? Unfortunately Meryl Baer can’t seem to make this happen. She says: Folks have many talents and skills, some the luck of our DNA and others cultivated and nurtured over the years. Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting does not consider gardening one of her many skills. She tries and sometimes succeeds, but this year proved disappointing, as she points out in Gardening Guru I Am Not.
On the other hand, over at the Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, writes about how much she loves her garden. See Robison’s articles on how to make tomato sauce, her garden in full production, eggplant goodness, and tips for cooking collards. Rita encourages everyone to plant a garden to enjoy organic vegetables. They’re good for your health, and gardening gets you off the computer and into the yard exercising.
Tom Sightings has been focusing on the BIG PICTURE lately, always a dangerous pastime. He has taken several road trips, spending a lot of time behind the wheel of his car, giving him time to think. This week he focuses on What’s Important, two important issues, plus a postscript that might just save your life. HINT: I don’t know what I would do without my shower grab bar!
DIKE & WEST PEAK A FEW MILES SOUTH OF LA VETA COLORADO
My week was spent dealing with a couple health issues (like continuing to breathe!) and wondering why this post about life in a very small town went viral by my standards. Are we all so anxious to believe that life can be slow, caring, and friendly again? Judging by the number of boomers moving here, YES! We almost never have a hurricane, but the wind can be incredible here!
Life in a very small town: La Veta Colorado
I loved yesterday! It started out like so many of my great days… badly! Mike has been very ill so we had to cancel our anniversary trip. I was disappointed and a bit grumpy, but I had promised to go into La Veta to meet a new friend who only comes through occasionally, so I drove into town. We had some tasty pizza, along with a great time talking and laughing about “family problems” with my friend. It turns out my new friend has a wry sense of humor and, guess what? Everybody has family problems… who knew? On the way out the door I ran into another new friend.
Then we took a walk around tiny town for a few errands.
La Veta has the best public library! If they don’t have a movie, they get it for you from their extensive network of other small public libraries. That’s how I keep current on my movies. It’s free and I get to watch them in the comfort of my own home.
Speaking of libraries, I met my new friend when I was at a Christmas festival in La Veta last December, selling my new book. She came up and we started talking and before I knew it she bought a copy. Now whenever she comes down here, she looks me up. I love the person-to-person contact that comes from selling my books one-on-one to new friends, instead of through the “evil empire” Amazon. For one thing, it is so much more friendly and personal. And another, Amazon doesn’t take half of my profit! We have even had these new friends up to our solar home to show off our incredible views. I guess I’m trying to get them to think about moving here….
My friend and her husband enjoyed my new memoir so much, they wanted to buy my other books, so we walked over to my car to get them. As luck would have it, there were two ladies sitting on a bench near us when I opened up the back of my Forester. They giggled and looked at us, so I said, “No, I’m not dealing drugs out of my car. It’s even better! I’m selling my ‘feel good’ books!”
We got to talking to them about books, love and dating (because of my love book), and life in La Veta. They said it’s tough meeting good men here. The good ones are married. One older gentleman walked by, overheard us, and I think he was about to join in to disagree! They asked me to bring more of my books into town. They wanted to buy a few.
I said goodbye to my new friend until she comes down here again, maybe for Octoberfest. That’s when they close down Main Street and everybody parties together. This will be our fifth one!
Next I went to see another friend I met through my exercise class. Such good people in La Veta, and it’s amazing how quickly you can recognize so many on Main Street. Sometimes you may be talking about someone and they will walk right by!
So glad I chose this quiet, slow and friendly lifestyle for my forever home & retirement.
To learn more about how we ended up here, living in a solar home in the Colorado outback, check out: A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado…
Also, please follow me on Twitter!
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 