OMG! It’s an April BLIZZARD!

April 16, 2016April 18, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 13 Comments

The view outside our home Saturday morning…

WOW! I woke up this morning to an honest-to-goodness blizzard around our house in southern Colorado! Fog, blowing snow and very little visibility here today. So glad we were warned, because I’m not sure we could get out even if we wanted to!

It started last night with an amazing thunderstorm around 8pm. Storms are exciting up here because we are at 7,000 feet, and pretty exposed to the elements. We had torrential rains for around an hour before it switched to big clumps of snowflakes.

This morning I had 1.4 inches of precipitation in my rain gauge, and I’m afraid most of the snow blew away over the top! I don’t even know what to estimate the depth of the snow at this morning. It has blown everywhere, and it’s too damn cold to hang out outside right now to measure.

Our view as of Monday morning…more snow on the way!!!

Whenever things like this happen I always think about the early inhabitants of this area who had no weather reports or any real warnings, no grocery stores and primitive sources of heat, transportation and communication. All they could do is hunker down and hope it passes soon.

If you have any interest, the book The Children’s Blizzard is a well-researched and written account of such a blizzard in 1888, that killed a number of immigrant children when a blizzard arrived suddenly and with no warning.

Midlife: Finding the courage to release what is familiar and seemingly secure…

March 11, 2016October 8, 2021 / Laura Lee Carter / 10 Comments

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” – Alan Cohen

This quote perfectly describes my life experience since my own midlife crisis at age 49, just like this great song, “Taking the Long Way!“

When I lost my marriage, my job and my career, I finally confronted exactly how miserable I was with my life so far. I knew I needed to release my familiar and embrace the new, but did I have that much courage? Could I change in that many ways? It always helps when you feel like you have completely run out of options!

First I started a small, local dating service, because I didn’t trust online dating. That eventually led to meeting my new husband Mike, online of course. He has been such an important factor in encouraging me to become fully me for the first time in my life. And I just realized yesterday exactly how free I feel living here in the middle of nowhere, depending on the sun for most of our heat, and Mike and our pets for love and support.

I never feel judged, and rarely even angry in my new life. I live my life as I like, and find my greatest critic comes from within. But I have gotten much better at telling it to “shut up!” It takes time, peace, and support to let go of the voices in your mind, and then move on to being present for the moment before you, the only one you have.

I am slowly relaxing into each moment as it arrives. What a wonderful way to live. I only wish I would have figured this one out sooner!

How did this happen? How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you!

Acceptance releases everything to be what it already is…

What’s not to like about living in Walsenburg and rural southern Colorado

March 10, 2016July 8, 2020 / Laura Lee Carter / 5 Comments

Don’t get me wrong, there are a number of negatives in moving from a city to a rural area, so much so that I often wondered why we did it after we moved here in June 2014.

(Postscript July 2018: I forgot to mention wildfires that burn up half the county!)

We first rented a 100-year-old home in Walsenburg, while building our rural home. At the time, this was the only decent rental available in the whole area! Yes, during that first year I had many doubts about whether this area was the best choice for me.

320 W. 2nd St. Walsenburg — Our rental in Walsenburg for one year…

Driving through Walsenburg, you will see a sad little town that has certainly seen better days. To quote the city of Walsenburg page:

“Incorporated on June 16, 1873, Walsenburg was the first statutory city and seventh incorporated municipality in the Territory of Colorado. Walsenburg, an irregular plateau broken by numerous narrow fertile valleys in the east, rising to the Culebra Range of the Sangre de Cristo in the west and the Spanish Peaks in the south. Elevation is 6,126 feet. Average annual precipitation is 15.8 inches. 300+ days of sunshine.”

The town enjoyed its highest population numbers (around 5,000 souls) in the 1930s through the 60s when coal mining was king. It now has fallen below 3,000. We do have two grocery stores, a few motels, three fast food places, and a few good restaurants. Two highlights are the La Plaza Inn, built in 1907, and the historic Fox Movie Theater.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t worried so much about enjoying my new life here. Sure it is inconvenient to have to drive to larger towns for certain things and some medical care, but the real point is that living here is good for my health. It took a while, but I eventually understood the subtle and not so subtle effects of stress on my body, spirit, and mind. It was only after living without city stress for a while, that I saw what a toll it was taking on me. Only in this quiet, natural setting have I learned to be present with this moment, a goal I have held for years.

It’s true I didn’t enjoy living in Walsenburg. I found the town depressing. But now that we live in the foothills west of there, I like going into town. It no longer bums me out. I just needed to realize that we have traded the many conveniences of living in a city for incredible natural beauty and glorious silence in a world with so little of that.

When I consider the negatives of where we live now, the worst is the terrible wind storms we can have, with fine dust blowing everywhere. This is a semi-arid climate so it dries out everything including your skin.

We have to be ever mindful of the seasonal moisture here and plant only plants native to this area. The wildflowers can be beautiful down here, (please see the yellow flowers on the header of this blog), but it all depends on the rain and snow cycles.

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home in the foothills: *A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado P**lease share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and* to order your own signed copies of any of my books! –Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

Aging and Friendship

February 7, 2016February 7, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 13 Comments

“Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.” — Charles Caleb Colton, a popular nineteenth century English cleric

It is obvious to me, my previous post about moving and making friends past midlife hit some sort of nerve with my readers. I so enjoyed the personal comments made by over 20+ readers! Some have studied this phenomenon throughout their lives and concluded it may have to do with different parts of the country and different sizes of town and cities.

So I decided to do a little research into this subject. I wanted to understand why two of my closest friends for decades dropped me suddenly soon after I turned 50, and why only one friend from my previous life in the Fort Collins area (for 20 years!), still keeps in close contact now.

The most insightful article I found was: “Aging and 3 Kinds of Friendship” by Brent Green. Mr. Green tells us that there are three kinds of friendships we may experience as we proceed through life, convenience, cosmetic and interdependent. A different article defined these loosely as takers, givers, and power sharers.

We all have had convenience friends, ones you hang out with because you share a work place, or kids in the same grades, or the same workout gym. These relationships can be very unequal with one person “helping” the other a lot. They can be draining!

Cosmetic friendships can also be draining because the person who supposedly likes you, wants something for it. Like work friends who think your relationship may help their career, these “friends” can vaporize quite quickly when you have nothing more to give to them.

The best kind of friends are those who are interdependent on each other. They don’t lean heavily, but they are there for you and accept you exactly the way you are. To quote Mr. Green:

“Both parties contribute and receive. Both are available to share the joys of closeness and help shoulder the burdens that come with aging. They give and take. They are committed to mutual growth and positive adaptation along the uncharted journey through life…They include the extraordinary friends we can count on when we become distraught or disillusioned. They are people who lift our spirits and in return welcome our nurturing care during their tough times.”

If you have any friends like these, count yourself very lucky!

Blogging Boomers Mid-Winter Edition

February 1, 2016February 1, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 6 Comments

We’re stuck in a beautiful snow storm in the foothills just east of the magnificent Sangre de Cristo mountain range in southern Colorado today. If you can think of a nicer place to be stuck, please share.

I am here today to share with you the works of a few of my favorite boomer blogger friends, and ask you a question at the end of this post.

Number one is from Linda Myers. She has a timeshare dilemma — too many to use. Go see her dilemma over at her Bag Lady in Waiting Blog.

Over at The Survive and Thrive Boomer Blog, things are hot and cold. Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist, almost had a kitchen fire, so she writes about tips for preventing kitchen fires. On the cold front, she writes about how older adults can prevent hypothermia during the winter by wearing a hat inside and keeping the temperature at at least 68 degrees.

Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting, is traveling once again this week, and discusses the difficulties of finding great eateries on a cross country road trip. Go read about some of her disappointments in Dining Along the Road, especially when traveling off the beaten path.

I have been noticing an interest among my readers in the process we went through in moving from suburbia to rural Colorado, so I wrote about the wins and losses we have experienced in the past two years.

Near the end of this piece I ask my readers whether age 60 is too old to make new friends. Please send me a comment with your own opinion on this issue. I am really curious what others have to say about this!

Wins and losses when moving from Fort Collins to the southern Colorado foothills

January 29, 2016October 31, 2020 / Laura Lee Carter / 31 Comments

We moved from Fort Collins to here in June of 2014 to build a direct gain passive solar home in the foothills west of Walsenburg. We rented a hundred-year-old house in town for 13 months while building our own version of a retirement dream home. There would be few surprises when we finally arrived in our new home, but moving to Walsenburg was the greatest culture shock.

When you decide to move to a very small town after living in the city most of your life, false assumptions can be made. After all, you really don’t know exactly what to expect, because you have never lived in such a tiny town before.

The first mistake we made was assuming that rentals would be available in both La Veta and Walsenburg in June. We discovered the end of May there were none we would even consider living in, and we were closing on our house the middle of June! We quickly made friends with Susie, the primary realtor in Walsenburg, and offered her a hefty bonus if she would find us something quick.

We also assumed utilities would be much cheaper in a small town, but we were wrong about that too. We did call the utility departments for both La Veta and Walsenburg before renting, and quickly discovered that only propane heating was available in La Veta. That would add up quite quickly in this cold part of the country, so we began leaning more towards Walsenburg in our selection process.

One thing we never would have guessed is that city water in Walsenburg would cost over $60 a month BEFORE you figured in how much you used that month! This town has lost about a third of its population in the past decade, so their water capacity is far larger than they need or can pay for, one reason why they are welcoming marijuana grow operations at present.

We did find a decent house to rent just in time, but it was so small we had to find additional storage for some of our furniture. The local realtor helped us with that too.

IMGP3099 — Work finally began on our new passive solar home in December 2014!

One total win for us was how friendly and welcoming our new landlord Bob was. He helped us whenever he could, and even provided new music for us to listen to as we explored our new home county. He then invited us up to his commune home near Gardner, where he has lived since the 1970s. The people who live in the communes in the northern part of Huerfano county have been so friendly and welcoming!

Another total win has been the quiet beauty of this part of Colorado. The views are phenomenal down here, and the weather is just a bit milder than up north. We love it! It’s definitely big sky country!

Most of the people we have met here have been friendly at least at first, although most seem hesitant to truly welcome new people. Most don’t seem to want to be friends. I’m still trying to figure that one out. I have heard a few interesting explanations so far!

I wrote quite a bit about making friends here in my journal, which then turned into a published memoir. When asked whether it was OK to write about how others have treated me here, I turn to Anne Lamott:

“Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

Sunrises are outrageous at 7,000 feet with no neighbors!

It’s been a long & winding road to this wonderful home in the foothills below those beautiful Sangre de Cristo Mountains, one I’d love to share with you!