sustainable living
Midlife change is so worth it!
Although Mike and I did consider ending it all before we met in lucky 2005 (see previous post), we both agree joining forces has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to either of us!
Together, through a great love and stubborn persistence, we have assisted each other in attaining our most treasured life goals, goals we would not have attained without each other’s support.
Mine was to become a writer. So far I’ve written three books! Mike’s was to build his own passive solar home with a spectacular view.
Mission Accomplished! And, BTW, the passive solar is keeping us toasty warm this fall! More often than not we have to open a window to cool down our home. So far, so good. We have only needed to use our supplemental heaters on the coldest and cloudest days.
The sunrises up here are GLORIOUS!
And all in all, I would say we are a good example of:
“Don’t give up in midlife when things feel hopeless!”
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you can change your mind and change your priorities like I did, there are do-overs before it’s all over! That is the message of my books and blogs.
And, finally, the rat is dead! Mike found it in his car and killed it! He was so happy! We still have our new cat Charlie. He’s not so good with rats, but he’s great at finding bugs, and re-defines playfulness for us!
Rasta and Charlie are still not the best of friends, but we’re getting there…
still coloring mandalas, and LOVING IT! It’s so healing for my poor recovering brain…
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“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife
The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.
Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.
I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans.
So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.
“The increased deaths were concentrated among those with the least education and resulted largely from drug and alcohol “poisonings,” suicide, and chronic liver diseases and cirrhosis. This midlife mortality reversal had no parallel in any other industrialized society or in other demographic groups in the United States.” “
This report also cited “evidence of declining mental and physical health among whites ages 45 to 54 between 1999 and 2013. According to national surveys, mental illness rose.There were significant increases as well in the percentages reporting poor health, chronic pain, and difficulties with such activities as walking a quarter mile, climbing ten steps, and socializing with others. The percentage reporting themselves unable to work doubled.”
What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.
The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”
Sunset, Sunrise – Life in Colorado!
Sorry if I’m boring you, but I cannot get over the fireworks up at our new home in the foothills west of Walsenburg in southern Colorado!
Last night the sunset seemed to go on and on.
It started out like this, and then transitioned…
into this
and this.
Then this morning I woke up to this! Yes, the snow is getting deeper in the Sangre de Cristos! We get plenty of warning here. Winter is coming soon!
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I am filled with gratitude that I can now live like this forever. Please go see my new memoir!
What does retirement mean to you?
I have observed that there are just about as many responses to the idea of retirement as there are people. Many count the days to retirement. They see it as complete freedom, and can’t wait!
Others fear that kind of freedom. They are convinced that they need to be contributing at all times, and feel driven to continue for reasons of self-esteem and/or legacy.
I believe this has a lot to do with early brainwashing. If your parents are driven to contribute, than you may also have that driving spirit. If your parents look forward to retirement as reward for a job well done, you may too.
My family is the hard-driving type, and my siblings also feel that they have no purpose if they cannot work.
My new husband at age 50 saw things differently. Because of serious health issues, he wasn’t able to hold down a 40+ hour a week job past age 60.
When I first met Mike ten years ago I was still quite driven. I launched myself into my new writing career with my usual enthusiasm and stubbornness, convinced that I could make it big as a blogger and author.
Over the past ten years my attitudes have changed dramatically. Mike has convinced me that being hard on myself and driven does not lead to contentment or even a happy life. It just leads to frustration with myself and others.
At what point is it OK to give yourself a break and say, “You are fine just the way you are.”
I have given much thought to my feelings about myself when I die. I do not believe that I will feel any better about myself then, if I produce more books or make any more money.
My time now is mine, and I plan to spend it doing whatever I choose, not feeling driven by my fears or my ego.
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 
