One thing I have learned from having more time to think and consider, is a far deeper awareness of my own levels of self-love and confidence.
The other day I was saying to Mike how surprised I am to find how mercurial my self-confidence can be. One moment I may feel so sure that I am on the right path, certain that I have everything working as I wish it to, and the next I fear I have become too arrogant and self-absorbed.
Going back and forth is exhausting. Feeling good about myself and my accomplishments is a healthy way to feel… I think. It certainly beats the way I used to feel, doubting almost everything about my Self and my life.
So why can’t I settle on that good feeling and accept it? Because of my fears of appearing arrogant, like I have all the answers. I don’t have “all the answers,” only the ones I need to have a great life for now.
I know everyone has challenging times, when the answers are not clear at all. I was in the midst of one such time two years ago when we first moved here. I wasn’t sure at all we had made the right decision. I did my best to accept our new place and believe in our future, but it wasn’t easy. I’m so glad I did.
Sometimes I think we keep busy partially because we don’t want to have too much time to consider how we feel about ourselves, our place in the world, or even the state of the world itself.
One thing is for sure. Unless I take the time to accept my life and feel good about myself, I will have nothing to give to others. None of us were sent here to save the world, but we can do what we can to make it a better place for everyone we meet.
Working to feel good about myself is my first step towards making those around me feel good about themselves.
10 thoughts on “Who do YOU think you are?”
What a great word– mercurial.
I thought mercurial meant straight up, but your self-confidence sounds like it is on a seesaw.
Why do we keep busy? Interesting. Since I started blogging to fill voids my college-age daughters left, this applies to me. Others, I don’t know.
Everyone questions themselves even at, especially at, our age.
Mercurial means up and down constantly, like my self-esteem…It is getting better slowly. Having a great husband helps a lot!
I have a deep seated habit of questioning every decision from the tiniest things so you can imagine what a wreck I am during major life shifts. I’ve tried hard to live consciously and meditation has helped. It does appear the more time I have available to me, the more I question everything. At this latter stage of my life, I’m not sure I care as much, but I’m disappointed for not taking more risks because I wanted to play it ‘Safe’. I could babble on on this subject, but it would never come to a conclusion. I say to you “BAVO” for taking risks and I truly believe you are living a fulfilling life, and those questions that nag you are there for most people.
Sorry Dellann, but what does BAVO mean?
In this post, you just made me realize that those kinds of questions only rarely bother me any more. Perhaps it’s that I am nearing the middle of my eighth decade of life. When I was young, I was very insecure. Your move and desire to blog to understand it is valuable to many people. I do hope you continue to feel good about yourself, because I certainly feel good about you! 🙂
So nice to know these doubts will end eventually! It would save so much energy to feel good about myself ALL OF THE TIME!
In reading your blog, you have made some huge changes that naturally raise the doubt flag! Glad that flag is not flying everyday in your new home.
Yes Haralee, the doubt flag is finally coming down for a while!
How good you are pleased with your move; change is always a stresser, even good change. One year I had our first baby, quit my job and moved to our new home in a town where we knew no one. I did not learn til later that that was a lot of change all at once and each is a stress point. One thing I do in retirement is volunteer, helping others makes us happy.
I completely agree that we can’t give to, nor expect of, others what we don’t possess ourselves. It’s always so much easier to give in to external noise than deal with truths we can only hear from the silence within. Great reminders, Laura! Thanks for this Monday wisdom ;-))