Why I keep trying new things & taking risks…
at least once in your lifetime run away from sensible advice.
Author: Laura Lee Carter
With the best of intentions, change can still be hell! Trust me, I know…
“Even in seemingly dormant times, we are in transition. Losses and gains are in constant play. We are the change-agent, and we are changed. Even without toil, we transform. So, wisdom advises us to open our hearts to transition; to honor fully what is passing, to learn from all that unfolds, and to welcome what arrives at our door each day with courage and curiosity.”
As all who have been reading this blog for the past year or so know, I have had many doubts about this big, dramatic move Mike and I started on two years ago. Especially when we first moved to Walsenburg, and I basically hated it.
But then if you took anyone from a beautiful, suburban home in Fort Collins, and moved them into a tiny, dirty 100-year-old house in a sad, rundown town an hour away from any decent sized city, the shock would be total, and it was!
The challenges we have faced in the past two years have been daunting for both of us. For me the biggest challenge was simply adjusting to such a different world than I was used to. For Mike it was the many extra expenses, frustrations, and delays in building a passive solar home in a rural environment.
I am now quite happy that we made this choice, while Mike says he wouldn’t have done it if he had known how unhappy I would be in the process of adjusting to something so different.
In retrospect I wish I had not worried so much about everything and trusted more in Mike’s vision for us, because this place is heaven. I fully appreciate how much courage and vision it took for Mike to push this whole project through to completion.
Now we live in a beautiful home that is supremely quiet, with fantastic views in every direction, and our direct-gain passive solar is working great! Plus I now feel like I’m making a few friends and slowly starting to feel like I belong here.
In summary: This place is perfect, but change can still be hell!
How did this happen? How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate? It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir…
How do we choose what to write about?
This morning I found myself wondering why we find some topics so worth writing about, while others would never make the cut? Why, when I’m sitting around thinking about nothing in particular, will I mark one idea in my mind as something to go back to when I’m writing, and all other thoughts aren’t worth mentioning?
How do we choose what to write about next?
The only answer I could come up with was personal taste. Sometimes I simply say to myself, “That’s an interesting thought.” or “I’ve never looked at things that way!”
Internal thoughts like these actually do determine whether readers come back, because they find my choice of topics or thought processes more interesting than others. But why? I can only surmise that my readers and I share certain values or views on life. Perhaps they find me curious, or in some way similar to them.
I decided a long time ago, when I first started writing a blog, that if a topic was interesting enough to me to cause me to research and write about it, than there certainly must be other readers who would find it interesting.
I started out writing about my own midlife changes. By writing on this topic I met others who had also discovered what a perfect time midlife was to take a long look at your life thus far, and then perhaps change a few major things, before it was too late. Do-overs before it’s all over!
With research I learned exactly how healthy midlife change can be. Who knew? Not me when I first started suffering through a divorce, job/career loss, etc. I thought this was just my own personal hell. Not so!
Somewhere over the rainbow…
Midlife crisis is the gift that keeps on giving! I went from my sad and lonely, unemployed position to finding love, a new career I love, and moving to a fantastic solar home in the southern Colorado foothills.
How’s that for some serious do-overs?
What’s not to love about this lifestyle?
The fog just engulfed our hilltop. I’m listening to The Poozies, another incredible group of musicians introduced to me by our first friend here, Bob the landlord. If you love Irish and Scottish music, you will love them! I’m baking banana bread while I write this.
Cloudy with occasional glimpses of the mountains!
So what’s not to love about this lifestyle?
The past few days have been wonderful for me. At our writing group on Saturday I met a new member who made my day! She’s been a major player in the Aspen arts scene for the past forty years, but burned out on that and is ready for something completely different. She warned me about telling too many about this beautiful place, so keep this under wraps, OK?
I have also found an exercise class I like for “older women.” It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for, so I bought a membership at Two Peaks Fitness. After winter and my post-construction slump, I need to get moving NOW! I hike up the hill behind us a few times a week and explore my new neighborhood. At 7,000 feet hiking is quite different than our old neighborhood in Fort Collins. Slowly but surely….
I am finding so many friendly people lately, especially in La Veta, and I’m finally feeling some sense of belonging here. Such a nice feeling!
And then there is my home life. This photo is a good summary.
Everyone’s happy and getting along here!
I am filled with gratitude that I can now live like this forever. Please go learn more about our move from Fort Collins to here in my new memoir!
“Our deepest human longing is for BE-longing; for belonging to our true selves, for belonging to all others…belonging to the whole universe…and belonging to that unfathomable mystery …” GRATITUDE with BROTHER DAVID STEINDL-RAST
Homeless in Sedona: Mother Nature’s Son
After a visit to northern Arizona to spend time with my brother, who lives in a lean-to along a creek, and a few chance meetings with other boomers who are barely scraping by, I thought I would inform you about one I know very well.
My brother’s case is the most extreme that I personally know of, because he is basically homeless, but in his case he is also happy. He moved south from Durango six years ago with no particular destination, and ended up camping along Oak Creek Canyon north of Sedona, Arizona. His family had no idea where he was for three years, until he got in trouble with the Forest Service, and a kind ranger suggested he should give us a call. When I visited him recently he told me the whole story.
Within a week after arriving in Sedona, he found some construction work, but he also had his sleeping bag stolen. The head of his construction company bought him a new one, no questions asked. He has found nothing but helpful people in this city full of millionaires and those that serve them. Someone is always willing to help him out, and the best part for him is living in nature.
He is now on private land and providing a type of care-taking along the creek. We discovered quickly that getting down to the creek is no small accomplishment. The trail is quite steep with parts of it roped to help with some rocky footing. After you make it down there, the next challenge is fording Oak Creek, scary for me, but Mike went over to see John’s camp. He lives in a wood-framed tarp lean-to with a solar-powered lantern and wind-up radio.
His favorite pastime is sitting outside playing his guitar. He is an accomplished singer and songwriter. I wish more people could hear his music. Here’s a sample on YouTube. I have a CD of his mostly instrumental creations if anyone would like one. He picks up extra money playing in the coffee shops and bars in Sedona.
I have never met a person who so loves living in nature. Everyone in our family enjoys solitude and nature. My Dad is a botanist and naturalist, and we were raised camping out more than most, but John is willing to put up with snakes in his sleeping bag and scorpions in his lean-to to continue in his chosen lifestyle. He recently started receiving Social Security, but still chooses to live outside. Besides, he could never afford the rents in Sedona!
How many more years will he be able to make it down that steep hill and across the creek? Mother nature’s son doesn’t appear to be worried…
Reinvention – Lessons Learned
September 22, 2013
An oldie but goodie from three years ago, before all of my major changes really got started! Before we moved down south and built this home…
I am now pushing 60. Looking back, I have found midlife to be the ideal time for self-discovery and personal reinvention.
Most of us have followed the path set out for us by others. What else can we do when we are young and inexperienced? And by age 40 or 50, we know where that leads.
By my mid-40s, I felt professionally secure, but stuck and frustrated, having been a good girl and followed all the rules. These feelings allowed me to finally find the confidence and courage to re-structure my life and create something new and different. My goal: complete authenticity!
Perhaps, like me, you have experienced some traumatic midlife challenges like divorce, job loss, empty nest, natural disasters or illness, as you watch your parents struggle with their own aging issues. All of these circumstances combined to cause me to question many of the choices I had made so far.
Did I want to spend the rest of my life this way?
In retrospect I see my various crises as golden opportunities to push me towards more appropriate personal choices. In the midst of my own midlife crisis, I spent months reading, looking inside, journaling, and being painfully honest with my feelings. Gradually I realized the future I saw ahead did not suit me. It was time to re-frame and do everything in a different way, MY WAY!
I used my own inner wisdom/intuition as my primary guide. Aware of the limitations of whatever time I had left on this earth, I worked ceaselessly to find a better path for myself.
Stop censoring yourself. Stop telling yourself you can never have what you truly want. Find out what that is for you, and then focus like a laser on your deepest desires.
There are indeed do-overs before it is all over!
In the midst of my only run in with unemployment at age 49, I decided that I was determined to have a marvelous, unconditional love relationship with another before I died. Then I did EVERYTHING within my power to make that happen, and it did!
Many have called me ‘lucky.’ I call me courageous, determined and stubborn. I began reinventing my life by first finding true love.
Next my new lover, who believed in me even more than I did, helped me change careers. I had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but ignored that desire because it seemed too crazy and impractical.
This time I was determined to get exactly what I wanted. And I am here to tell you, you can too!
“The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person doing it.” – Chinese proverb
I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home: A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 