With the best of intentions, change can still be hell! Trust me, I know…

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“Even in seemingly dormant times, we are in transition. Losses and gains are in constant play. We are the change-agent, and we are changed. Even without toil, we transform. So, wisdom advises us to open our hearts to transition; to honor fully what is passing, to learn from all that unfolds, and to welcome what arrives at our door each day with courage and curiosity.”

As all who have been reading this blog for the past year or so know, I have had many doubts about this big, dramatic move Mike and I started on two years ago. Especially when we first moved to Walsenburg, and I basically hated it.

front view Deer Creek house

But then if you took anyone from a beautiful, suburban home in Fort Collins, and moved them into a tiny, dirty 100-year-old house in a sad, rundown town an hour away from any decent sized city, the shock would be total, and it was!

The challenges we have faced in the past two years have been daunting for both of us. For me the biggest challenge was simply adjusting to such a different world than I was used to. For Mike it was the many extra expenses, frustrations, and delays in building a passive solar home in a rural environment.

I am now quite happy that we made this choice, while Mike says he wouldn’t have done it if he had known how unhappy I would be in the process of adjusting to something so different.

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In retrospect I wish I had not worried so much about everything and trusted more in Mike’s vision for us, because this place is heaven. I fully appreciate how much courage and vision it took for Mike to push this whole project through to completion.

Now we live in a beautiful home that is supremely quiet, with fantastic views in every direction, and our direct-gain passive solar is working great! Plus I now feel like I’m making a few friends and slowly starting to feel like I belong here.

In summary: This place is perfect, but change can still be hell!  

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How did this happen? How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?  It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir

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16 thoughts on “With the best of intentions, change can still be hell! Trust me, I know…

  1. A happy ending is a good ending and – I would have been in shock, too. I’m happy this has a good end, not that it’s the end. Years ago, I hated a move we made (and I actually started off our thinking about that move). In retrospect, it could have been one of the best decisions of our lives, although it seemingly didn’t work out at the time. But we didn’t know it at the time the significance it would have years down the road. I learned you sometimes just have to take chances.

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  2. Hi Laura – I admire the two of you for taking on such a big move later in life. I find it more and more difficult to make really deep friendships as I age. I made most of my friends while I was waitressing in college, or going to college, living abroad, waitressing after college, and working. Now that I’m not doing any of those things, I find it challenging to create new, deep and meaningful friendships. Kudos to you for having patience with your husband and his vision, and for having the courage to start a new adventure and, as you say – taking chances.

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  3. I know that Huerfano County can be quite a culture shock, but it is a beautiful place and there are some very nice people there. And it is so beautiful. I’m counting the days until I can spend time there, (24!) and also looking forward to retirement when I can spend more than a few weeks in the summer. Are the wildflowers taking over yet? When I got there last summer, they were in full riot. It was amazing.

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  4. Don’t be so hard on yourself. That was a huge hurdle and change in lifestyle! I think most of us would have had some adjustments. As long as Mike knows how much you like it now… Brenda

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  5. I’m also glad you have cultivated an online community. I have enjoyed seeing how you have evolved and feel happy to have found you! It was a huge change and you have done extremely well in adapting. 🙂

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  6. Thanks for all of your support! I’m completely pleased now with our changes and know it was right for us. Let’s hear it for Mike for having enough courage to help me through this difficult time in our marriage to success at last!

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  7. We just right-sized and moved to an apartment that’s only 2 miles from our spacious home. That was change enough. My husband–also a Mike–is still reeling from the uprooting. I can’t imagine making the huge change you made. Wow. kudos for surviving it together.

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  8. That’s an awesome quote you found for this post, Laura! I will now have to go and read up on all the details of your move, it sounds fascinating. Very courageous – glad to hear you’re adjusting well to it, after the initial turmoil.

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  9. Leisa: I’ve moved hundreds of times in my now long life and never worried too much about it. I figured I could always go back. But this move was all or nothing. We couldn’t move back to Fort Collins because we spent all our money (and much more!) on a new solar home down here in a rural area. This was our “retirement” move and that’s why it scared me. It all turned out great, it just took me longer to adjust…now I can’t even imagine moving back to the city!

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  10. My hat’s off to you! It’s not easy to uproot yourself, especially as we get older. But there’s something so refreshing about starting over with a clean slate–like a palate-cleansing sorbet for your life. Hubs and I just moved this past week into a condo after 10 years in a 4-bedroom house. The process of downsizing, packing, dealing with buyers from hell, unpacking, etc. is upending, exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming (at times), but–like you–we’re ultimately so happy to be where we are. Yay for both of us!

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