Morning in “Be-Here-Now” Land

March 31, 2016August 26, 2022 / Laura Lee Carter / 12 Comments

After almost two years living in the foothills a few miles west of Walsenberg Colorado, I still struggle to find a way to help you understand how living here is so amazingly different from the suburbs of Fort Collins. Possibly you can imagine, this has been culture shock after culture shock for a couple of city people.

In fact, I wake up every morning and wonder for just a moment or so, where am I? Then I look out my glass doors at this:

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…and I know this is no dream. This is one larger-than-life reality!

I try to explain to my friends who are still up in Fort Collins working, how this lifestyle change has changed me. But since they only come down for a day or two at a time, they cannot really understand how living here feels.

At first I was mainly freaked out. This world is so very different than what I’m used to that it scared me, especially since we had essentially put all our eggs in one basket on this one!

I see now why it was so hard for my original, stressed-out self to deal with this place. This is a whole world away from what most consider “life in America.” We have very few chain stores, and no reason to go shopping unless you need a few groceries. We have one movie theater showing one movie three times a week.

At times I feel like I moved to a different country (especially since this ridiculous presidential campaign started!) Now when I watch the national news I think, “Wow, those people are crazy… what a horrible way to live!”

Recently I heard someone down here say:

Most people don’t realize how much stress they have until they slow down enough to lose some of it.

That’s where I’m at now.

I get up most days and take a hike around our house, looking for interesting animal tracks. I’ve just started getting into bird watching, my cat is encouraging me. I have finally slowed down enough to have the time to think a lot about what I need to do before I die, and seeing the world is not on that list at present. I’d rather spend the rest of my life directly experiencing the American Southwest.

Although I’ve always had Buddhist leanings, I now feel more drawn to Native American philosophies. I imagine them travelling through the valley below us on their way to Bent’s Fort to sell animal pelts and get the latest news. I love to imagine someone from the 1800’s walking into our home now, and being shocked by the modern conveniences of today. But we should not let our easy lives convince us that we are more wise than those who came before us. Perhaps we are the idiots who will ruin the best life ever experienced on planet earth…I certainly hope not.

I am filled with gratitude that I can now live like this forever. Please go learn more about our move from Fort Collins to here in my new memoir!

My Beautiful Broken Brain

March 29, 2016April 22, 2021 / Laura Lee Carter / 10 Comments

“Within your own mind is a treasury, an ocean of pure bliss, consciousness, intelligence, creativity and love…” — David Lynch

My Beautiful Broken Brain, a Netflix documentary

Recently I viewed a fascinating new Netflix documentary which follows the life of a 34 year old woman after she experiences a severe stroke. Lotje Sodderland was a digital producer at a hip London creative agency when she suffered a stroke that decimated her language skills and threw her sensory perception into disarray.

Lotje found that most of the practitioners who tried to help her recover her abilities to speak, see properly, write and read, began by defining her by what she could not do after her stroke. She instead chose to focus on a few positive changes within her brain, ones which provided her with new skills and talents.

At the end of this film she offers advice back to those who have treated her brain injury, telling them to help the patient not only return to previous abilities, but also appreciate sometimes subtle changes in consciousness, which can benefit the patient. For example, Lotje experienced an amazing new ability to experience colors and sounds like never before.

I found this new take on brain injuries quite refreshing, much like the story behind Melody Gardot’s transformation following her brain injury. She’s an American woman who only discovered her unique ability to create and sing music after suffering a serious head and spinal injuries.

Initially prompted by her physician who believed music would help her brain injury improve, Gardot began writing music after her accident. Music is thought to help the brain form new pathways. At first, Gardot learned to hum and was eventually able to sing into a tape recorder. She made good progress and was eventually able to write her own original songs. She had no idea before her accident that she was a musician, but today she’s playing concert tours all around the world.

Both of these examples show the unique fragility of the mind, but also the limitless resources that can be found as those with brain injuries get used to their new brain, their new existence and their dynamic relationship with their own consciousness.

I have discovered a few major changes to my own brain and levels of consciousness since suffering a serious traumatic brain injury in 2008, and a concussion last September. Yes, these injuries have hurt my ability to remember many words and faces. I do find that quite frustrating at times. The benefits for me are a greatly enhanced ability and need to meditate regularly. My brain gets exhausted quite easily, especially after an hour or so of conversation.

Another change is in the intensity of my dreams. They are so real now, I can’t imagine forgetting them. They pop into my mind all day long, making me feel so strongly like I actually spent time with those I only dreamt about spending time with…

This experience sometimes leaves me wondering, like the Chinese philosopher Chuang-Tzu, am I a butterfly flying around dreaming that I’m a woman, or a woman dreaming that I’m a butterfly? This is what a conk on the head did for me!

How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir!

Sand Dunes Natl. Park and a great hot springs!

March 21, 2016December 11, 2018 / Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

We had a visitor from Denver this weekend so we thought we’d show him some of the rural highlights of living down here in southern Colorado. We drove over La Veta Pass to first visit Great Sand Dunes National Park.

What a trip, a big pile of sand dunes in the middle of the high mountains!

Then we continued down the road a few miles to Sand Dunes Pool, a natural hot springs in the middle of nowhere. I wrote about this previously, because it is such a find. I took more pictures this time so you can get more of a feel for the adult section of this amazing property!

One thing I LOVE about it is all of the cool tropical plants everywhere. One of the owners told me that people bring their own plants to live here. How cool is that? Especially orchids that need at least 70% humidity.

But they have everything in there, tomatoes plants, a Jade tree and lots of succulents. I especially liked this cool display of succulents and cacti in a large, old log stump.

I have got to get me one of these!

Midlife: Finding the courage to release what is familiar and seemingly secure…

March 11, 2016October 8, 2021 / Laura Lee Carter / 10 Comments

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” – Alan Cohen

This quote perfectly describes my life experience since my own midlife crisis at age 49, just like this great song, “Taking the Long Way!“

When I lost my marriage, my job and my career, I finally confronted exactly how miserable I was with my life so far. I knew I needed to release my familiar and embrace the new, but did I have that much courage? Could I change in that many ways? It always helps when you feel like you have completely run out of options!

First I started a small, local dating service, because I didn’t trust online dating. That eventually led to meeting my new husband Mike, online of course. He has been such an important factor in encouraging me to become fully me for the first time in my life. And I just realized yesterday exactly how free I feel living here in the middle of nowhere, depending on the sun for most of our heat, and Mike and our pets for love and support.

I never feel judged, and rarely even angry in my new life. I live my life as I like, and find my greatest critic comes from within. But I have gotten much better at telling it to “shut up!” It takes time, peace, and support to let go of the voices in your mind, and then move on to being present for the moment before you, the only one you have.

I am slowly relaxing into each moment as it arrives. What a wonderful way to live. I only wish I would have figured this one out sooner!

How did this happen? How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you!

Acceptance releases everything to be what it already is…

What’s not to like about living in Walsenburg and rural southern Colorado

March 10, 2016July 8, 2020 / Laura Lee Carter / 5 Comments

Don’t get me wrong, there are a number of negatives in moving from a city to a rural area, so much so that I often wondered why we did it after we moved here in June 2014.

(Postscript July 2018: I forgot to mention wildfires that burn up half the county!)

We first rented a 100-year-old home in Walsenburg, while building our rural home. At the time, this was the only decent rental available in the whole area! Yes, during that first year I had many doubts about whether this area was the best choice for me.

320 W. 2nd St. Walsenburg — Our rental in Walsenburg for one year…

Driving through Walsenburg, you will see a sad little town that has certainly seen better days. To quote the city of Walsenburg page:

“Incorporated on June 16, 1873, Walsenburg was the first statutory city and seventh incorporated municipality in the Territory of Colorado. Walsenburg, an irregular plateau broken by numerous narrow fertile valleys in the east, rising to the Culebra Range of the Sangre de Cristo in the west and the Spanish Peaks in the south. Elevation is 6,126 feet. Average annual precipitation is 15.8 inches. 300+ days of sunshine.”

The town enjoyed its highest population numbers (around 5,000 souls) in the 1930s through the 60s when coal mining was king. It now has fallen below 3,000. We do have two grocery stores, a few motels, three fast food places, and a few good restaurants. Two highlights are the La Plaza Inn, built in 1907, and the historic Fox Movie Theater.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t worried so much about enjoying my new life here. Sure it is inconvenient to have to drive to larger towns for certain things and some medical care, but the real point is that living here is good for my health. It took a while, but I eventually understood the subtle and not so subtle effects of stress on my body, spirit, and mind. It was only after living without city stress for a while, that I saw what a toll it was taking on me. Only in this quiet, natural setting have I learned to be present with this moment, a goal I have held for years.

It’s true I didn’t enjoy living in Walsenburg. I found the town depressing. But now that we live in the foothills west of there, I like going into town. It no longer bums me out. I just needed to realize that we have traded the many conveniences of living in a city for incredible natural beauty and glorious silence in a world with so little of that.

When I consider the negatives of where we live now, the worst is the terrible wind storms we can have, with fine dust blowing everywhere. This is a semi-arid climate so it dries out everything including your skin.

Springtime in the Rockies!

We have to be ever mindful of the seasonal moisture here and plant only plants native to this area. The wildflowers can be beautiful down here, (please see the yellow flowers on the header of this blog), but it all depends on the rain and snow cycles.

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar retirement home in the foothills: *A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado P**lease share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and* to order your own signed copies of any of my books! –Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

Millennials and Me, Part 2 (at 60!)

March 2, 2016March 9, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

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Our sunrise this morning in southern Colorado!

I tell you, the more I learn about millennials, the more I like them! The latest news is that millennial women are waiting much longer to marry than previous generations. Good thinking women!

My theme song for this part of my life? Taking the long way around!

That was always my plan back in the 1970s, when most of the women my age were getting married and pregnant. I had no intention of ending up a single mother with no career. I felt a strong need to support myself in all ways.

I waited until 39 to marry, and even that was a mistake on my part. I hate to tell you, but I wasn’t really ready for marriage until age 50, or at least I couldn’t find a man worthy of me until then…

I was single or unhappily married until age 50, but that is not to say I didn’t enjoy being single or love being married. Now I would say, with the right partner, I much prefer marriage to the single life. I love having my best friend to discuss everything with. I love having his expertise when I get some crazy idea that requires construction or mechanical abilities. Those are definitely not my strong suit. And I so enjoy unconditional love and support when I’m not feeling so sure of myself.

I now believe people were meant to live together and support each other, it just took me forever to find the person to do that for me. To younger people I say, What’s the rush?

Go out and live your life on your own terms! Be strong, see the world, experience life wherever you find it! Experience love wherever you find it, but never settle for someone who does not show you complete love and respect. Be yourself and find out exactly what that is for YOU. Then, when you know who you are, and love that person fiercely. When you have no intention of changing for others, only then choose a partner who loves you just the way you are!

My primary lesson from my first marriage: When you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for!