Why I left the “best cities in America” to live in rural southern Colorado

March 7, 2016December 15, 2018 / Laura Lee Carter / 14 Comments

Denver and Colorado Springs the best cities in America? I can hardly stand to drive up there now! I know those places may be good for businesses and careers, but for actual ‘quality of life’? Forget it!

The air is so dirty up there you can smell it. The traffic and noise is unbelievably bad unless you compare it to other cities like LA. I find it interesting that young people love the high-stress atmosphere of cities like Denver. High anxiety just makes me tired these days.

When I last visited Denver and Colorado Springs, I could feel the stress building in my body immediately. First just getting there is so stressful, because of the intense traffic from Pueblo north on I-25. Then the air starts smelling really bad, and my fellow drivers start crowding in on me, pressuring me to drive faster than I feel is safe. Most city dwellers would disagree with me, but the point is we humans don’t fully realize how much stress we live with daily, until we try living without it.

The view from our new home!

I moved to Walsenburg Colorado in June 2014 to build a solar home down here. The culture shock was strong and immediate. Each morning when I went outside, I would think, “Where am I?” The pace of life here felt so foreign. Now I call it slow and comfortable, but back then it took me a while to appreciate the lack of constant pressure, noise and traffic. Yes, the trains were noisy in town, but I’m originally from Kansas so I like the sound of trains.

When our new home was finished, a stressful process in and of itself, we moved out to the foothills. Now I spend hours just staring at those incredible mountains, with their ever changing cloud and weather patterns.

The silence and beauty of this area takes my breath away daily, but in a good way… “Goodbye city life!”

Check out my new book: A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado and share this information with your friends if they are considering a move to rural America. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

Aging and Friendship

February 7, 2016February 7, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 13 Comments

“Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.” — Charles Caleb Colton, a popular nineteenth century English cleric

It is obvious to me, my previous post about moving and making friends past midlife hit some sort of nerve with my readers. I so enjoyed the personal comments made by over 20+ readers! Some have studied this phenomenon throughout their lives and concluded it may have to do with different parts of the country and different sizes of town and cities.

So I decided to do a little research into this subject. I wanted to understand why two of my closest friends for decades dropped me suddenly soon after I turned 50, and why only one friend from my previous life in the Fort Collins area (for 20 years!), still keeps in close contact now.

The most insightful article I found was: “Aging and 3 Kinds of Friendship” by Brent Green. Mr. Green tells us that there are three kinds of friendships we may experience as we proceed through life, convenience, cosmetic and interdependent. A different article defined these loosely as takers, givers, and power sharers.

We all have had convenience friends, ones you hang out with because you share a work place, or kids in the same grades, or the same workout gym. These relationships can be very unequal with one person “helping” the other a lot. They can be draining!

Cosmetic friendships can also be draining because the person who supposedly likes you, wants something for it. Like work friends who think your relationship may help their career, these “friends” can vaporize quite quickly when you have nothing more to give to them.

The best kind of friends are those who are interdependent on each other. They don’t lean heavily, but they are there for you and accept you exactly the way you are. To quote Mr. Green:

“Both parties contribute and receive. Both are available to share the joys of closeness and help shoulder the burdens that come with aging. They give and take. They are committed to mutual growth and positive adaptation along the uncharted journey through life…They include the extraordinary friends we can count on when we become distraught or disillusioned. They are people who lift our spirits and in return welcome our nurturing care during their tough times.”

If you have any friends like these, count yourself very lucky!

Retired and missing your job?

February 3, 2016March 3, 2017 / Laura Lee Carter / 7 Comments

Just heard on the news that most people don’t like their work. OK, perhaps that is no news flash for most, but as a retired person, I find that a bit sad. I immediately flash on a sign my Dad always had up in his office:

“I like my work, but it breaks up the day!”

I was raised by a man who LOVED his work. Silly me, as a kid I thought everybody did. Obviously work gave my Dad meaning and purpose. He was a botany professor who got to interact with college kids all day long. He loved teaching and counseling them. He was one of the few who reached his goal in life, and found it completely satisfying.

Our view of the Sangre de Cristo range every morning!

As an academic librarian I always liked my work, but no, there was no love involved. I did it for 25 years. I was a dedicated employee who got there in spite of winter storms, etc. My main problem in my career was the stupid bosses, and in libraries they were often men. One especially hate-filled one finally got me in the end. He fired me at age 49, and I haven’t worked as a librarian since.

These days, when Mike and I discuss work, he always says he misses his job. He worked with some high-level engineers in areas like developments in solar inverter technology. He had to give up his career for health reasons. He says he misses working with cutting-edge technology. I wish he still could enjoy those daily challenges, but I do not miss my work as a librarian. I find that I was smarter than most of my bosses, and that didn’t work out well.

I LOVE doing research and writing. I LOVE being my own boss, although there have been times when I could be quite demanding. The Internet has given us many new freedoms and I love it all! Now I do what I want with my time and generally enjoy the process. I wish you all this future!

Save your dollars and perhaps someday you will be able to live where you want and spend your days doing whatever you choose!

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar home in the foothills:

A Memoir of Retirement: From Suburbia to Solar in Southern Colorado

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

Wins and losses when moving from Fort Collins to the southern Colorado foothills

January 29, 2016October 31, 2020 / Laura Lee Carter / 31 Comments

We moved from Fort Collins to here in June of 2014 to build a direct gain passive solar home in the foothills west of Walsenburg. We rented a hundred-year-old house in town for 13 months while building our own version of a retirement dream home. There would be few surprises when we finally arrived in our new home, but moving to Walsenburg was the greatest culture shock.

When you decide to move to a very small town after living in the city most of your life, false assumptions can be made. After all, you really don’t know exactly what to expect, because you have never lived in such a tiny town before.

The first mistake we made was assuming that rentals would be available in both La Veta and Walsenburg in June. We discovered the end of May there were none we would even consider living in, and we were closing on our house the middle of June! We quickly made friends with Susie, the primary realtor in Walsenburg, and offered her a hefty bonus if she would find us something quick.

We also assumed utilities would be much cheaper in a small town, but we were wrong about that too. We did call the utility departments for both La Veta and Walsenburg before renting, and quickly discovered that only propane heating was available in La Veta. That would add up quite quickly in this cold part of the country, so we began leaning more towards Walsenburg in our selection process.

One thing we never would have guessed is that city water in Walsenburg would cost over $60 a month BEFORE you figured in how much you used that month! This town has lost about a third of its population in the past decade, so their water capacity is far larger than they need or can pay for, one reason why they are welcoming marijuana grow operations at present.

We did find a decent house to rent just in time, but it was so small we had to find additional storage for some of our furniture. The local realtor helped us with that too.

IMGP3099 — Work finally began on our new passive solar home in December 2014!

One total win for us was how friendly and welcoming our new landlord Bob was. He helped us whenever he could, and even provided new music for us to listen to as we explored our new home county. He then invited us up to his commune home near Gardner, where he has lived since the 1970s. The people who live in the communes in the northern part of Huerfano county have been so friendly and welcoming!

Another total win has been the quiet beauty of this part of Colorado. The views are phenomenal down here, and the weather is just a bit milder than up north. We love it! It’s definitely big sky country!

Most of the people we have met here have been friendly at least at first, although most seem hesitant to truly welcome new people. Most don’t seem to want to be friends. I’m still trying to figure that one out. I have heard a few interesting explanations so far!

I wrote quite a bit about making friends here in my journal, which then turned into a published memoir. When asked whether it was OK to write about how others have treated me here, I turn to Anne Lamott:

“Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

Sunrises are outrageous at 7,000 feet with no neighbors!

It’s been a long & winding road to this wonderful home in the foothills below those beautiful Sangre de Cristo Mountains, one I’d love to share with you!

Location, Location, Location – Where do you belong in this wild & crazy world?

January 25, 2016October 11, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 7 Comments

power outage

Picture this: We now live a southern Colorado county with only two traffic lights. Yep, in the whole county!

So, our recent experience getting stuck in our worst traffic jam ever in Denver, convinced us that country living may be a better choice. After a quick trip up there this week, I am even more certain that we have found the best place in the world for us.

What happens when I drive up to Denver? The first thing I notice is the foul air, and then everything starts crowding in on me. When you’re used to a one stoplight town, traffic in the city can get very intense, very quickly. Try sitting in that traffic for 30 or 40 minutes after living in the southern Colorado outback for a couple of years. UNBELIEVABLE!

Did you know my original goal in leaving northern Colorado was to never waste another minute of my limited lifespan sitting in a traffic jam?

Don’t get me wrong. I do see the appeal of the city, just not for me anymore. I now totally appreciate what a fine line it can be finding the right size city for each of us. Too small and it can get boring, too large and it’s ugly in so many ways.

From my experience, it is important when you start searching for your forever home, to spend some serious time there first. Spend at least six months to a year there before choosing anything permanent. Try to make a few friends and learn as much as you can about the area.

As we age we find out how important the simple pleasures are in our lives. When you have more past than future, you learn.

Want to learn more about the experience of moving from the city to the country to live a quiet, relaxed life? Check it out here!

My Next Project: A Journal of Retirement

January 12, 2016February 11, 2017 / Laura Lee Carter / 8 Comments

I’m just beginning to get excited about writing my next book! This week I started collecting all that I have written in the past few years, and enjoying (in retrospect!) the process of how our retirement came about. Retirement for us was a bit of an ungraceful process, sort of like that joke about making sausage, but it happened all the same and most importantly, we survived!
It’s surprisingly fun and funny reading my old entries about trips to Ecuador, renovating our old house for sale, falling down the stairs, etc. I would guess this could make for some interesting reading for those who are just beginning to consider their retirement options.

Mike fooling around down below!

I have decided to write it in journal-style, much like if the reader was reading my diary, as it happened. I have always enjoyed the intimacy of books written in this style.

This book will answer such questions as when and why did we first get interested in moving to Ecuador? Why did we lose interest? How did we decide to check out southern Colorado as a site for a solar home? How did we choose the architecture of this home? etc.

Denver and Colorado Springs the best cities in America? I can hardly stand to drive up there now! I know those places may be good for businesses and careers, but for actual ‘quality of life’? Forget it!

The air is so dirty up there you can smell it. The traffic and noise is unbelievably bad unless you compare it to other cities like LA. I find it interesting that young people love the high-stress atmosphere of cities like Denver. High anxiety just makes me tired these days.

When our new home was finished, a stressful process in and of itself, we moved out to the foothills. Now I spend hours just staring at those incredible mountains, with their ever changing cloud and weather patterns.

The silence and beauty of this area takes my breath away daily, but in a good way… “Goodbye city life!”

“Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.” — Charles Caleb Colton, a popular nineteenth century English cleric

So I decided to do a little research into this subject. I wanted to understand why two of my closest friends for decades dropped me suddenly soon after I turned 50, and why only one friend from my previous life in the Fort Collins area (for 20 years!), still keeps in close contact now.

We all have had convenience friends, ones you hang out with because you share a work place, or kids in the same grades, or the same workout gym. These relationships can be very unequal with one person “helping” the other a lot. They can be draining!

Cosmetic friendships can also be draining because the person who supposedly likes you, wants something for it. Like work friends who think your relationship may help their career, these “friends” can vaporize quite quickly when you have nothing more to give to them.

The best kind of friends are those who are interdependent on each other. They don’t lean heavily, but they are there for you and accept you exactly the way you are. To quote Mr. Green:

If you have any friends like these, count yourself very lucky!

Just heard on the news that most people don’t like their work. OK, perhaps that is no news flash for most, but as a retired person, I find that a bit sad. I immediately flash on a sign my Dad always had up in his office:

“I like my work, but it breaks up the day!”

I LOVE doing research and writing. I LOVE being my own boss, although there have been times when I could be quite demanding. The Internet has given us many new freedoms and I love it all! Now I do what I want with my time and generally enjoy the process. I wish you all this future!

Save your dollars and perhaps someday you will be able to live where you want and spend your days doing whatever you choose!

I’m a newcomer to rural southern Colorado. After two years I decided to compile a short journal about the ups and downs of moving from a good-sized city to rural America to build a passive solar home in the foothills:

Please share this information with your friends if they are considering similar life changes. Feel free to contact me directly to discuss any of these challenges, and to order your own signed copies of any of my books! Cheers, Laura Lee (email me: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com)

When you decide to move to a very small town after living in the city most of your life, false assumptions can be made. After all, you really don’t know exactly what to expect, because you have never lived in such a tiny town before.

We did find a decent house to rent just in time, but it was so small we had to find additional storage for some of our furniture. The local realtor helped us with that too.

Another total win has been the quiet beauty of this part of Colorado. The views are phenomenal down here, and the weather is just a bit milder than up north. We love it! It’s definitely big sky country!

Most of the people we have met here have been friendly at least at first, although most seem hesitant to truly welcome new people. Most don’t seem to want to be friends. I’m still trying to figure that one out. I have heard a few interesting explanations so far!

I wrote quite a bit about making friends here in my journal, which then turned into a published memoir. When asked whether it was OK to write about how others have treated me here, I turn to Anne Lamott:

“Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

It’s been a long & winding road to this wonderful home in the foothills below those beautiful Sangre de Cristo Mountains, one I’d love to share with you!

Picture this: We now live a southern Colorado county with only two traffic lights. Yep, in the whole county!

So, our recent experience getting stuck in our worst traffic jam ever in Denver, convinced us that country living may be a better choice. After a quick trip up there this week, I am even more certain that we have found the best place in the world for us.

Did you know my original goal in leaving northern Colorado was to never waste another minute of my limited lifespan sitting in a traffic jam?

Don’t get me wrong. I do see the appeal of the city, just not for me anymore. I now totally appreciate what a fine line it can be finding the right size city for each of us. Too small and it can get boring, too large and it’s ugly in so many ways.

From my experience, it is important when you start searching for your forever home, to spend some serious time there first. Spend at least six months to a year there before choosing anything permanent. Try to make a few friends and learn as much as you can about the area.

As we age we find out how important the simple pleasures are in our lives. When you have more past than future, you learn.

Want to learn more about the experience of moving from the city to the country to live a quiet, relaxed life? Check it out here!

I have decided to write it in journal-style, much like if the reader was reading my diary, as it happened. I have always enjoyed the intimacy of books written in this style.

This book will answer such questions as when and why did we first get interested in moving to Ecuador? Why did we lose interest? How did we decide to check out southern Colorado as a site for a solar home? How did we choose the architecture of this home? etc.

Basically this will be a summary of how this wonderful place all came about for us. How did we end up here, doing this at age 60?

I am filled with gratitude that I can now live like this forever. Please go learn more about our move from Fort Collins to here in my new memoir!

“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.” – David Bowie