Rebellion at age 60

November 12, 2015October 11, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 5 Comments

Rebellion is difficult, freedom priceless!

It only occurred to me recently that I am going through at age 60, what most went through in their teenage years. I would say I have always been a good girl, to some extent, doing what was expected of me. Two husbands and three graduate degrees later, it seems I have changed.

When Mike and I hatched the plan in late 2013, of selling our lovely home in Fort Collins (suburbia), to build a passive solar home in rural Huerfano county, I had no idea how much my family didn’t want us to do this. I guess I figured it was our business, but apparently not.

Come to find out, I have somehow betrayed my family by making my own decision. This has brought up a lot of other types of rebellion for me, rebellion I never felt at age 18 or 19. I feel angry that I have always done what was expected of me instead of what I wanted to do.

I know, better late than never…

I now recognize so many old tapes in my head, telling me what to do and how to act. These go against my own needs and desires, and yet it seems strange to be finally telling them to shut up.

This is where my own inner wisdom comes in. I now have six decades of wisdom stored up from just living my life day-to-day. I know myself very well.

I finally believe in my own wisdom. I know how I wish to live. I only wish my family had more faith in my judgment.

Want to learn more about my mammoth move from suburbia to rural southern Colorado? Go see here!

Midlife change is so worth it!

November 4, 2015November 18, 2015 / Laura Lee Carter / 2 Comments

Although Mike and I did consider ending it all before we met in lucky 2005 (see previous post), we both agree joining forces has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to either of us!

Together, through a great love and stubborn persistence, we have assisted each other in attaining our most treasured life goals, goals we would not have attained without each other’s support.

Mine was to become a writer. So far I’ve written three books! Mike’s was to build his own passive solar home with a spectacular view.

Mission Accomplished! And, BTW, the passive solar is keeping us toasty warm this fall! More often than not we have to open a window to cool down our home. So far, so good. We have only needed to use our supplemental heaters on the coldest and cloudest days.

The sunrises up here are GLORIOUS!

And all in all, I would say we are a good example of:

“Don’t give up in midlife when things feel hopeless!”

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you can change your mind and change your priorities like I did, there are do-overs before it’s all over! That is the message of my books and blogs.

And, finally, the rat is dead! Mike found it in his car and killed it! He was so happy! We still have our new cat Charlie. He’s not so good with rats, but he’s great at finding bugs, and re-defines playfulness for us!

Rasta and Charlie are still not the best of friends, but we’re getting there…

still coloring mandalas, and LOVING IT! It’s so healing for my poor recovering brain…

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

“Deaths of Despair” (suicides) continue to rise among Americans in Midlife

November 3, 2015February 21, 2019 / Laura Lee Carter / 7 Comments

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans.

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

“The increased deaths were concentrated among those with the least education and resulted largely from drug and alcohol “poisonings,” suicide, and chronic liver diseases and cirrhosis. This midlife mortality reversal had no parallel in any other industrialized society or in other demographic groups in the United States.” “

This report also cited “evidence of declining mental and physical health among whites ages 45 to 54 between 1999 and 2013. According to national surveys, mental illness rose.There were significant increases as well in the percentages reporting poor health, chronic pain, and difficulties with such activities as walking a quarter mile, climbing ten steps, and socializing with others. The percentage reporting themselves unable to work doubled.”

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

Sights and Sightings in Trinidad Colorado

October 27, 2015July 13, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 6 Comments

Just to let you know how life is different when you move to a rural county, we had to take our puppy to Trinidad, about an hour away yesterday, to get some eye surgery done. We had tried this same surgery last year at the only vet in our county and he screwed it up, allowing the tumor to return. So we went to see Dr. Felduto in Trinidad. He guaranteed if Rasta’s eye tumor ever came back again, he would fix it for free.

What this meant logistically for us was that we had to find things to do in Trinidad for four hours while Rasta’s anesthesia wore off. First we hit Walmart, since we don’t have one in Walsenburg, and we needed a few things not available in our area.

Outside of Walmart we saw something neither one of us have ever witnessed. There, near the front door, was an old cowboy with his horse, a mule for cargo, and three dogs. He had ridden into Walmart to buy supplies. As he took off, it looked just like a scene from the 1880s.

Next we had a great lunch at the Mexican restaurant called Tequilas just across I-25 from Walmart. It had been recommended to us, and they were right. Wonderful food, great service and nice atmosphere!

Then we took a random drive around downtown Trinidad, ending up at the Masonic Cemetery.

The Trinidad area was first visited by Spanish and Mexican traders, because of its proximity to the Santa Fe Trail. After coal was discovered in the region in 1862, the town experienced an influx of immigrants eager for jobs. In 1878 the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway reached Trinidad, making it easier for goods to be shipped from distant locations. By 1900, the population of Trinidad had grown to 7,500, home to two English and one Spanish language newspaper.

Mike and I both enjoy old gravestones to gain a better sense of western history, so we took a walk in the cemetery. What struck us both was how rare it was for people in Trindad’s past to live past age 40, one hundred years ago. We kept seeing the graves of those who were born in the late 1800s, who only lived into the 1910s or 20s.

I knew from my research for my book about Boomers, how rare it was for those born in the early 1900s to make it past age 60, but there were so many gravestones for those who never made it to age five or ten or twenty in this cemetery!

The saddest were the graves of children. There were even a few double graves of siblings who only lived to age 3 or 4. These are all parts of history we know, but to see the actual gravestones is somehow more powerful. We also saw stones written in other languages like Greek and German. These were immigrants who risked everything to come out to Colorado to start a new life. Yes, we feel vulnerable today, but imagine how vulnerable those who went before us really were…

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

The PERFECT THING for those who think or worry too much!

October 25, 2015October 10, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 15 Comments

REDISCOVER YOUR INNER KINDERGARTNER!

When I first heard about adult coloring books a few months ago I said, “Brilliant!” The publicist for “Stress Less Coloring” e-mailed me to offer me a book to color, so I requested the “Mandalas” book.

WOW! Who knew this could be so much FUN! And for you doubters, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! For any of you with analysis paralysis, jump into this head first!

I find that coloring a mandala really helps me see what my mood is each day, and for brain recovery it’s PERFECT!

It also helps to change my mood if I’m ruminating on my worries. For unknown reasons it helps me to turn to my positive future and smile. If you wish to learn more about this new trend, check this out!

After our first big mountain snow storm!

October 22, 2015October 15, 2016 / Laura Lee Carter / 4 Comments

Yesterday was cloudy, gray and rainy all day. We only got up to 46 degrees and received over an inch of rain! So we tried out our electric heaters last night and they worked pretty well. I don’t like to be too warm at night, because I’m still having hot flashes…

This was our view of the mountains this AM.This was the view around 8:40AM, twenty minutes later…

and this is our view of the Spanish Peaks around 10 AM MST.

What a way to spend the morning, watching the Sangre de Cristos emerge in their lovely winter regalia.

Rebellion is difficult, freedom priceless!

It only occurred to me recently that I am going through at age 60, what most went through in their teenage years. I would say I have always been a good girl, to some extent, doing what was expected of me. Two husbands and three graduate degrees later, it seems I have changed.

When Mike and I hatched the plan in late 2013, of selling our lovely home in Fort Collins (suburbia), to build a passive solar home in rural Huerfano county, I had no idea how much my family didn’t want us to do this. I guess I figured it was our business, but apparently not.

Come to find out, I have somehow betrayed my family by making my own decision. This has brought up a lot of other types of rebellion for me, rebellion I never felt at age 18 or 19. I feel angry that I have always done what was expected of me instead of what I wanted to do.

I know, better late than never…

I now recognize so many old tapes in my head, telling me what to do and how to act. These go against my own needs and desires, and yet it seems strange to be finally telling them to shut up.

This is where my own inner wisdom comes in. I now have six decades of wisdom stored up from just living my life day-to-day. I know myself very well.

I finally believe in my own wisdom. I know how I wish to live. I only wish my family had more faith in my judgment.

Want to learn more about my mammoth move from suburbia to rural southern Colorado? Go see here!

Although Mike and I did consider ending it all before we met in lucky 2005 (see previous post), we both agree joining forces has been the BEST thing that has ever happened to either of us!

Together, through a great love and stubborn persistence, we have assisted each other in attaining our most treasured life goals, goals we would not have attained without each other’s support.

Mine was to become a writer. So far I’ve written three books! Mike’s was to build his own passive solar home with a spectacular view.

Mission Accomplished! And, BTW, the passive solar is keeping us toasty warm this fall! More often than not we have to open a window to cool down our home. So far, so good. We have only needed to use our supplemental heaters on the coldest and cloudest days.

The sunrises up here are GLORIOUS!

And all in all, I would say we are a good example of:

“Don’t give up in midlife when things feel hopeless!”

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you can change your mind and change your priorities like I did, there are do-overs before it’s all over! That is the message of my books and blogs.

And, finally, the rat is dead! Mike found it in his car and killed it! He was so happy! We still have our new cat Charlie. He’s not so good with rats, but he’s great at finding bugs, and re-defines playfulness for us!

Rasta and Charlie are still not the best of friends, but we’re getting there…

still coloring mandalas, and LOVING IT! It’s so healing for my poor recovering brain…

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

The primary reason I started my blog Midlife Crisis Queen in 2007 was to offer resources and hope to Americans in midlife. I had just been through some really tough times in my late 40s, culminating in a major shift in perspective and priorities.

Through my writing and books I tried to share what I had learned about the natural changes we all go through as we get into our 40s, and start to question so many of our previous decisions and choices.

I knew that hopeless feeling that I had made work a priority that was not fulfilling me, and I had no real love in my life. I also cautioned others about the grim statistics we were seeing among 45-54 year old Americans.

So I was not surprised to see this report today. In a shocking reversal of earlier trends, the death rate among Americans of European-American heritage age 45-54, increased dramatically between 1999 and 2013.

What I found and still find most disturbing about data like this is the lack of interest by just about everybody that this is happening in our country. Half a million Americans have died with no real interest from government, the media or anyone.

The authors of this study observe “a dire collapse of hope, and that same collapse may be propelling support for more radical political change. Much of that support is now going to Republican candidates, notably Donald Trump.”

What this meant logistically for us was that we had to find things to do in Trinidad for four hours while Rasta’s anesthesia wore off. First we hit Walmart, since we don’t have one in Walsenburg, and we needed a few things not available in our area.

Outside of Walmart we saw something neither one of us have ever witnessed. There, near the front door, was an old cowboy with his horse, a mule for cargo, and three dogs. He had ridden into Walmart to buy supplies. As he took off, it looked just like a scene from the 1880s.

Next we had a great lunch at the Mexican restaurant called Tequilas just across I-25 from Walmart. It had been recommended to us, and they were right. Wonderful food, great service and nice atmosphere!

Then we took a random drive around downtown Trinidad, ending up at the Masonic Cemetery.

I knew from my research for my book about Boomers, how rare it was for those born in the early 1900s to make it past age 60, but there were so many gravestones for those who never made it to age five or ten or twenty in this cemetery!

Click on photos for full-size views, and follow us on TWITTER!

When I first heard about adult coloring books a few months ago I said, “Brilliant!” The publicist for “Stress Less Coloring” e-mailed me to offer me a book to color, so I requested the “Mandalas” book.

WOW! Who knew this could be so much FUN! And for you doubters, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! For any of you with analysis paralysis, jump into this head first!

I find that coloring a mandala really helps me see what my mood is each day, and for brain recovery it’s PERFECT!

It also helps to change my mood if I’m ruminating on my worries. For unknown reasons it helps me to turn to my positive future and smile. If you wish to learn more about this new trend, check this out!

Yesterday was cloudy, gray and rainy all day. We only got up to 46 degrees and received over an inch of rain! So we tried out our electric heaters last night and they worked pretty well. I don’t like to be too warm at night, because I’m still having hot flashes…

This was our view of the mountains this AM.This was the view around 8:40AM, twenty minutes later…

and this is our view of the Spanish Peaks around 10 AM MST.

What a way to spend the morning, watching the Sangre de Cristos emerge in their lovely winter regalia.

My latest haiku:

High mountain snows. We get plenty of warning. Winter is coming!

How did I end up here, feeling so fortunate?

It’s a long story, one I can now share with you in my new memoir!