aging
First I started a small, local dating service, because I didn’t trust online dating. That eventually led to meeting my new husband Mike, online of course. He has been such an important factor in encouraging me to become fully me for the first time in my life. And I just realized yesterday exactly how free I feel living here in the middle of nowhere, depending on the sun for most of our heat, and Mike and our pets for love and support.
I never feel judged, and rarely even angry in my new life. I live my life as I like, and find my greatest critic comes from within. But I have gotten much better at telling it to “shut up!” It takes time, peace, and support to let go of the voices in your mind, and then move on to being present for the moment before you, the only one you have.Millennials and Me, Part 2 (at 60!)
Our sunrise this morning in southern Colorado!
I tell you, the more I learn about millennials, the more I like them! The latest news is that millennial women are waiting much longer to marry than previous generations. Good thinking women!
My theme song for this part of my life? Taking the long way around!
That was always my plan back in the 1970s, when most of the women my age were getting married and pregnant. I had no intention of ending up a single mother with no career. I felt a strong need to support myself in all ways.
I waited until 39 to marry, and even that was a mistake on my part. I hate to tell you, but I wasn’t really ready for marriage until age 50, or at least I couldn’t find a man worthy of me until then…
I was single or unhappily married until age 50, but that is not to say I didn’t enjoy being single or love being married. Now I would say, with the right partner, I much prefer marriage to the single life. I love having my best friend to discuss everything with. I love having his expertise when I get some crazy idea that requires construction or mechanical abilities. Those are definitely not my strong suit. And I so enjoy unconditional love and support when I’m not feeling so sure of myself.
I now believe people were meant to live together and support each other, it just took me forever to find the person to do that for me. To younger people I say, What’s the rush?
Go out and live your life on your own terms! Be strong, see the world, experience life wherever you find it! Experience love wherever you find it, but never settle for someone who does not show you complete love and respect. Be yourself and find out exactly what that is for YOU. Then, when you know who you are, and love that person fiercely. When you have no intention of changing for others, only then choose a partner who loves you just the way you are!
My primary lesson from my first marriage: When you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for!
Blogging Boomers Have Their Say!
My lively group of fellow bloggers have never been known to be shy about having their opinions on, well everything, and I include myself in that lovely, well-opinionated group! I know, opinions are like a**holes, but what’s the point of being alive if you can’t say what you think?
This week Rita R. Robison, consumer journalist over at The Survive and Thrive Boomer Guide, writes about the movies nominated for Academy Awards this year. Although she feels as though she’s watched hundreds of movies, Robison actually only saw 26 movies and 10 shorts. Here she writes about these movies, because she thinks movie makers put too many violent images on the big screen.
Traveling and sightseeing can be exhausting activities, as Meryl Baer of Six Decades and Counting found out after three weeks on the road. She took a break, enjoying life at a slow, enjoyable pace. Read about her day off at Retirees Take a Day Off.
Tom, at Sightings Over Sixty, brings up Three Silent Issues that the politicians have been avoiding. Go over and take a look, and then you decide — aren’t these the kinds of things we should be talking about?
One of my favorite online educators, Kathy Gottberg, over at SmartLiving365.com shares her personal thoughts about creativity and her amazing mother in her new piece titled: The Courage to Live Your Creativity With Stubborn Delight! Don’t miss it!
And as for myself, I have some very strong feelings about the choices we make everyday between playing it safe and taking big risks. As you can probably tell, I became a big risk-taker after realizing how little I really had at midlife. Now I feel, one of the most important lessons I have ever learned in life is:
Playing it safe does not get you what you want!
Are you ‘playing it safe’?
One the most important lessons I learned from my own midlife crisis at age 49: Playing it safe does not get you what you want in life!
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the NEW.” — Socrates
And this goes double for any retirement decisions you may be making right now. Taking the stay-where-you-are way may be a lot easier, but will it make your last dreams in life come true?
Learn more about this process and how you can start taking more risks today, over at my “How To Believe In Love Again” blog!
“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T.S. Eliot
Where is your brain injury?
Slowly but surely I’ve been fighting back from a serious concussion this past September. Some days are fine, others I just feel like sitting and staring off into space for hours. One thing is for sure, it is quite difficult for me to maintain a good conversation for more than an hour or two. My brain gets tired very quickly.
Today I want to share with you some new information to me. I was searching around the Internet and came upon this very interesting page from the Centre for Neuro Skills on brain function. I guess I did not realize how important it is to specify where your brain has been injured, in identifying what functions are compromised.
For example, my traumatic brain injury back in 2008 damaged my frontal lobe (in the forehead area). According to this documentation this section controls consciousness, how we initiate activity, judgments in daily activities, emotional response, expressive language and assigns meaning to the words we choose, word associations and memory activities.
After being unconscious for hours after my bike accident with a serious bleed inside my brain, I struggled for at least a year with judgment, my emotions, language, word meanings, spelling and memory. I never did remember my accident, just the aftermath, and then only barely.
As luck would have it, I had just decided to become a writer in 2006 so writing became my best brain exercise. I actually published my first book by the end of 2008! I’m nothing if not stubborn!
Yes, I got very slowly better and thought that part of my life was history until this past September when I fell backwards onto concrete and knocked a small hole in my skull and injured my left parietal lobe. This led to even more problems with spelling and vocabulary. I now need to ask my husband words all of the time, and that’s very frustrating to me. In fact everything mentioned on this list rings try to me, especially “the inability to plan a sequence of complex movements to complete a multi-stepped task.”
I see now that brain injuries on top of previous injuries are the worst in terms of trying to get things done. At first I could only stare outside for hours. Luckily the views are fantastic up here! Believe it or not, I think coloring my mandalas has helped my brain a lot. It’s so hard for me to “be here now,” but I’m working on it every day.
Not to make excuses, but I’m pretty sure this new injury is making it much harder for me to put together my new memoir about moving to this beautiful new part of the country to retire. Luckily I don’t have to go to work, but even my new volunteer position at the local veterans nursing home could be a challenge at times. At least I’ll be among understanding friends.
A New Southern Colorado Adventure & Delight!
Yesterday, we celebrated Valentine’s Day in one of the most mellow places I can imagine. We drove an hour and a half west of here and arrived at the Sand Dunes Pool for a long, peaceful soak in the hot springs there.
We started out in the long, lazy river pool at around 100 degrees. This gets deeper the further you go in, and at the end there is a small water fall. The surrounding are surprisingly tropical and the temperature inside is perfect! This is the only pool you can swim around in in the adult section.
When you tire of the long, cool pool you can choose between three other smaller pools from 103 to 110 degrees or take a sauna.
The atmosphere is tropical, with cool plants growing everywhere! We saw a few orchids, some very nice succulents, a large Jade tree, and even a few tomatoes on the vine. This place is wonderful, like a moist, warm oasis in the middle of the dry, cold San Luis Valley. No wonder it is so popular! Alcohol is served in this section, and their hamburgers are great.
Everything I have described so far is in the adult or age 21+ section of this property. There is also an large, outdoor pool for families with kids. The surrounding mountains are incredible, and they also have places to stay there if you are on a vacation or RV camping. We’re just glad we live close enough to drive over for the day!
I do wish to mention one comment from a fellow swimmer yesterday. She was around age 50 and apparently she had been observing Mike and I for a while, when she came up to us and said,
“I just have to say you two make such a cute couple! My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. I just hope we can be like you two as we grow older together.”
Adventures of the NEW??? Old Farts 