This is the time of year I usually post my “I’m beginning to dread a lot about Christmas” post. Once those ubiquitous commercials begin, I start complaining. But this year feels different. I’m anxious to get our tree cut (from our own land!) and decorated, and I’ve ordered just a few small, special gifts online. I wonder why…
I think it’s because of the tough past few years. I know I was too depressed last Christmas to decorate the tree. My health has been a constant concern for a few years now. When you’ve been consistently healthy for most of your life up until around age 60, and then you keep having serious new ailments turn up, it’s disconcerting to say the least. The one I fought the hardest was going on fulltime oxygen. I simply could not believe it, and I also didn’t want to! It’s terribly cumbersome, expensive and irritating. Try fixing dinner while trailing around an O2 tube. But I did somehow adjust after a couple bad falls and much difficult breathing convinced me.
Funny how illness may help one appreciate things in whole new ways. When you are no longer so certain that you will be here for Christmas next year, you see things differently. Now I want to enjoy every little detail. Oxygen tube or not, I want to be present for every moment now.
4 thoughts on “Surprise! I’m looking forward to Christmas!”
IF my last comment registered, ignore this one! 😉
Ohmyword, Laura, you are so right! How would any of us behave if we knew this was our last year—our last Christmas, New Year’s, birthday?! Appreciate it! Thank you so much for this timely reminder! Please be well!
Yes! This awareness never fails to help with my sense of appreciation! Thanks for writing Diane!
Over 60 the world looks different. I think the age used to be younger. My Dad always said that after 40 we cast our shadows on the other side. The other side is closer now and so many I love are over there, my parents and all my siblings, but you are so right, it makes everything here more precious. Long zoom calls with daughters and their families, and longer hugs for the hubster as we work together in the kitchen and say, “I’m so glad we have each other.”
Yes Nancy, my world looks very different! My Dad died this year and that does add to my perspective on aging…
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