Is your antidepressant DEPRESSING YOU? Personal freedom on my mind…

/ Laura Lee Carter

paxil tabsIt has now been over a month since I cut way back on my Paxil prescription. I’m below 5 mgs. and feeling great. I have seen a few gigantic changes so far, the best one being I feel so much more like my old self, lighthearted and more energetic. I have also started losing weight. I did not know these drugs could impact so many aspects of mind & body.

On Paxil I felt dumbed down, mentally numb, drowsy, dizzy, irritable, impulsive (in an eating too much way!), with new memory and balance problems. I even felt depressed, which I don’t usually feel.

Getting off Paxil is a bit like waking up to my true self again. I feel so much more alive, with more energy and creativity. I already have a few different projects started. In other words, I feel renewed! Yes I still have memory problems from my brain injuries, but they’re not being made worse by drug fogginess. Who knew?

I decided to fire my doctor over this one! She told me nothing about this drug before I started it a few years ago. I’m not even sure she knew about the terrible side effects and major difficulties of getting off Paxil once you’re on it. I have spoken to a few who simply found it too challenging to stop taking it, so they’re stuck with it for the rest of the their lives! Quite addictive in a very nasty way…

Perfectionism the-voice-of-the-oppressor

My mental theme these days is personal freedom from both my internal tyrants and any outside influences I disagree with. I am finally truly in touch with my anger! I find it sad that most women lose touch with their anger, that which could protect them from so many different forms of abuse. It seems much more socially acceptable for women to be depressed instead of angry. I say fuck that! Depression is hardly empowering.

In this battle, I am finding my internal demons more demanding than any outside influences, but I feel certain I will win!

There is only one way to find out…

6 thoughts on “Is your antidepressant DEPRESSING YOU? Personal freedom on my mind…”

  1. I’ve been taking a 5 mg of lexapro for a little more than two years now…I started a couple of years after the death of my husband. I have no side effects and if I skip a day or two, sometimes I can feel the depression setting in ever so slightly. So I don’t want to chance that terrible feeling, so I will continue. I also take a half dose of the lowest dose Xanax to keep the anxiety of aging alone, at bay. I’ve not had any problems with either pill or feeling any need to increase the dosage.so for me, I dont want to mess with a good thing..I have heard that Paxil is one of the hardest ones to get off of.

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    • Do what works for you. I learned from a new friend that 2 of the worst side effects from Paxil are weight gain and loss of interest in sex. I got to thinking those were the two main things I was depressed about! Now that I’ve cut way back, it turns out, she was so right!

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  2. Hi Laura Lee! Good for you for taking your health (mental and physical) into your own hands. Doctors have their place but we need to be our own advocates right? And your current focus, “My mental theme these days is personal freedom from both my internal tyrants and any outside influences I disagree with. ” So important for us all. Thanks for the reminder. ~Kathy

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  3. I’m glad you’re feeling like yourself again. I’m an advocate for medication when it’s needed and wanted, but also an advocate for knowing your body well enough to know if something is absolutely wrong. Good for you!

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