After only a couple days of company out here in the middle of nowhere, I realized once again exactly what an introvert I am. I can easily become intolerant with ‘company’ because I’m just too easily distracted by other peoples’ energy.
This definition of introvert works perfect for me:
Someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments, and tends to feel drained after socializing, regaining energy by spending time alone.
I am fundamentally too sensitive to have most people around me for any length of time. After only a few hours I feel exhausted and angry. I hate feeling so at the mercy of the needs and emotions of others. I need to isolate to finally give myself the love and attention I need. When forced into situations with lots of people around I eventually explode! I have a great fear of being stuck with others whom I really don’t want to be around, so I have finally learned to do this:
“I’m very picky whom I give my energy to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively for those who reflect sincerity.” ~ Dau Voire
And yes, I search relentlessly for those who are sincere and authentic. I find most do not value putting time and energy into becoming their authentic self. That is one of my most essential goals.
One of the first topics Mike and I agreed on when we met, was that we had both been identified as “too intense” throughout our lives. That must be society’s way of saying strange. I would define that trait as highly sensitive to everything around us, especially other people. Mike and I notice everything around us and thankfully at about the same rate of speed. We test this out sometimes and find we are often on the same wave length, thinking the same thing at the same time. This must be why we can enjoy being around each other, while most people drive us nuts after only a couple of hours.
We know to give each other lots of space.
“Introverts are word economists in a society suffering from verbal diarrhea.” ~ Michaela Chung
I feared before I met Mike that I was destined to live alone forever with just my dogs, because most people drive me nuts fairly quickly. But I am here to reassure those of you who are highly sensitive and quite picky about partners, there are others out there! Don’t give up the search…
“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” – Stephen Hawking
8 thoughts on “Codependent no more, but still quite the introvert”
I have found that the older I get, the more introverted I become. The saying “the more people I meet, the more I love my dogs”. Yeah, it’s like that. I find peace in those soulful eyes, looking up at me and willing to listen while their head rests in my lap. Unabashedly, unconditional friendship.
Well said Mari! I love my dog too and my husband, and a few other kindred souls… the rest, not so much.
It’s not so much that I don’t like others or to be around them, it just doesn’t take long to get my fill and move on. I always thought there was something wrong with me, too, but since getting into blogging, I’ve realized, there are many of us out there. It’s a wonderful outlet where I can meet others who are like me and get me, socialize online, and turn off the computer when I’m done. It’s perfect! Thanks for the reminder that I’m not alone in my aloneness.
Passing Down the Love #AtoZ
It’s not good or bad, it just is the way we are. As long as we take responsibility for our feelings and protect ourselves from too much time with others, it fine.
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I think we introverts are simply people who have over-active empathy. We feel everything the people around us feel. And have to finally get away from it!
This is SO me! I have to be alone for a few minutes just to get myself set again. I look forward to my few minutes just before I fall asleep to play my little solitaire game and just be . . . me.
Love that Diane! I seem to feel everything around me, especially other people, and I can’t seem to screen out their actions or their feelings!
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